I’m excited! After weeks of planning, reading comments, and waiting, the PhilosophersNotes Challenge finally starts.
And we have 1442 people participating. That’s at least 442 over our goal.
I know you’re all really excited to start (so am I) so let me present to you the first Note that you will be studying today.
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
“You need a very strong will in order to adopt the Four Agreements – but if you can begin to live your life with these agreements, the transformation in your life will be amaz– ing. You will see the drama of hell disappear right before your very eyes. Instead of living in a dream of hell, you will be creating a new dream – your personal dream of heaven.”
~ Don Miguel Ruiz from The Four Agreements
Just log into the PhilosophersNotes membership area and download the Note. After you’ve gone through it (via audio or PDF), just come back here and drop a comment on your key learnings, how this has affected your day, and any other opinions and thoughts you might have.
Brian’s also made a really cool video for today’s Note. Check it out below.
In it, you’ll go through the 4 Agreements. Really awesome stuff. And at the very end, Brian’s got a BIG question for you.
- Be Impeccable w/Your Word
- Don’t Take Anything Personally
- Don’t Make Assumptions
- Always Do Your Best
Of course, your discussions aren’t limited. Talk about anything and everything. Whether you agree or disagree, like it or not, I want you to talk, debate, discuss.
Oh, and for all you Twitter users, don’t forget the hashtag when you’re talking about PhilosophersNotes: #50days
I can’t wait to read your comments and better yet, I can’t wait to see what kind of growth will take place for everyone doing the Challenge.
See ya tomorrow for the next Note! And if you haven’t got your 100 PhilosophersNotes yet, you can grab them here »
FinerMinds is hosted by 
Master of Confusion — a view from the loser side of the fence…
I have been working at living from the wisdom that I create everything I
experience, that other people are simply mirrors of my own state of being,
when I experience what I don’t want, it’s not about them, it’s about me and
the vibration I emit.
Agreement 2 don’t take it personally… I can see the value in that if I am
strong, confident, in my power, doing what I know I am here to do and being
confronted by naysayers projecting their insecurities and limited beliefs onto
me
How to reconcile the above 2 wisdoms?
Is only one correct ? Are both correct depending on the situation? or on ones
competence at life?
How to discern whether the feedback from “others” is valuable information
I need to incorporate into my actions, or useless noise I need to ignore?
AAArgh
This book is a grea way to start. We all do some of these some of the time but consistency is the key. Here are my commitments to the agreements:
1. Be Impeccable w/Your Word–there are times I do flake and even though my intentions are pure I don’t follow-up the way I should. First thing I’m going to commit to change.
2. Don’t Take Anything Personally-I’ve been taking some work problems personally and it’s been weighing on me. “I’m totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others.” It’s not about me it’s about them.
3. Don’t Make Assumptions-so easy to do, I’m guilty of not just making assumptions but also listening to other peoples assumptions. It’s critical to ask the questions-professionally and personally.
4. Always Do Your Best–not only doing your best but working to make you best better, little by little. That’s where the 50 days come in.
if we are in DA pendent of others thoughts y is your web page 2 3rds of what others think,love yous guys.keep it comeing, … we do need others thoughts,aye.
I have just got Philosopher’s Notes and am starting out now. I had never heard about Don Miguel Ruiz but I’m glad I came across Vishen’s post on Philosophers Notes on Facebook.
The summary resonated with me and here’s how it applies in my life.
1. Domestication: I have a 1 yr old and that’s certainly not the way I want to raise her. After reading the summary of 4 Agreements, I made an agreement with myself that I’ll raise her with grace, mercy and love not via the carrot and the stick route. I’m also embarking on a journey of ‘undomesticating’ myself.
2. Being impeccable with my word is a practice that I have been striving for all my life. This year, I started a website — http://www.motivationalquickies.com/ where I post a short motivational video and for every day I miss, I donate $25 to kiva.org. So far, I have just missed one day. Similarly, I want to be impeccable with my word in other areas of my life. However, I got a deeper understanding of this word after reading the summary as well as the power of a simple No.
3. Not taking things personally is a big one for me where lots of practice will be required. I’ll have to emblazon in my heart that nothing other people do is because of me. It is because of themselves. The example in the summary served well to further drive the point home.
4. I make assumptions all the time. Most of the time these assumptions are grossly inaccurate. I will need to build the muscle to ask questions instead of assuming.
5. I always try to do my best but sometimes I have too high an expectation which leads me to become upset. I love the way the author defines what exactly constitutes my best. I got to keep in mind my best is never going to be the same moment to moment.
I have gotten an immense amount of awareness and this will surely lead to freedom but repetition as Tony Robbins says is the mother of skill. Thank you Brain, Vishen and Mind Valley for Philosopher’s Notes/
Help! While I subscribed to the 50 days 50 philosophers, I was unable to start the program when i had intended, now I am starting over with Day 1, The Four Agreements. It seems as if there was a change in the order of books vs. the numeric coding on my pdf files. Could somone please provide me with the updated list of how I should move through the 50? I realize Day 1, but am unable to find Day 2 — 50 sequence guide. Thanks so much.
Absolutely AWESOME…SOMETIMES WE REALLY DO FEEL TOO COMFORTABLE WITH OUR HABITS AND START TO FEEL ONE WITH THEM AND NEED TO TAKE INVENTORY ABOUT THE CLOTHES WE ARE WEARING…HABIT THAT IS…:)
Insirational
I loved this Note also and have been told over the last several years that the criticism is more about the other person than me, but have really struggled with accepting this. Now I am starting to truly feel it. This is making a huge difference in how I feel and react. I have just stopped associating with many people as they insist on their behavior and I no longer an willing to accept it. I have come out of my shy, fearful self and believe in myself again. Reading this makes me want to get the whole book and learn more.
“Don’t take thinks personally” this will be my first step to accomplish! I’ve already posted these four agreements on my wall.….and with so much appreciation, i thank you vishen & brain for sharing this, because i feel so much lighter now.…my partner even notices a drastic change in me!!
i honestly didn’t believe that by changing my mind frame in this way, my whole entity would feel so relieved! it truly is incredible!!
The notes are excellent but are not a replacement for reading Don Miguel’s body of works. I have endeavored to make the Four Agreements apart of my life since they were first published and they do un-domesticate you. I have the cards and journal and other works. I think the Notes series will help everyone to find what resonates for themselves and invest in just those programs that they feel they need to study more in depth.
very good
I LOVE READING THIS BOOK.IT IS SO AMAZING.
I really liked the notes from the shory video.The notes go along with what I’m studying at the moment The teaching from The Buddha Which can be found at zhaxizhuoma.net MY goal is to tramsform my life to become more and more aware of all things and all beings, and be of maxium service to all.I really like the positive thinking going on here. bill
Thanks guys. This helped. Still trying to get over being pissed off at people in general . .LOL . Music and laughter helps by leaps and bounds.
Thanks Brian and everyone for the comments. I agree, we always should thrive to improve ourselves.
Thank you for the philosphers’ notes. At least the ones I have encountered are very helpful, to enable me to live a happy life. The notes have introduced me to some good books which I plan to acquire in due course.
thats right Clara so happy to be walking this beautiful world with you! HUGS!
We are a tribe *smile* We are all one breathing the same breath Amazing eh ? Loving this Amazing Journey ~!~ In Love of Oneness~xXx
“It is only when I become aware of my hidden motivations, negative assumptions and attitudes and accept them as they are, that I stop being defensive and begin the process of growth.” That takes such courage. And it is an ongoing process that, like anything else, gets easier with practice. Thanks for your commitment, padinjar!
love it and thx, padinjar!
Something happened with the video sync via youtube, but I really don’t want to re-record all that I said, so ignore the video and listen to the audio
Hi Leif! Kewl video response.
While its true that, in the example you gave, the person who calls you stupid who might be having a bad day also has the option to choose to be nice, looking at it that way is still handing the power over to the other person. I think what that agreement speaks to is the only power each of us has. The power over ourselves. And that’s hard enough! Not taking things personally isn’t the same as not caring or loving. To me, its taking responsibility for how I feel and how I choose to be influenced by others. Its wonderful to breathe in the good feelings of praise and such, but when I NEED these things to feel whole, some part of myself isn’t developing. The same if I define myself based on negative input. I don’t grow. That’s just my take.
A number of points here, but let me try and explain what I think is the key *potential* disagreement (very likely I am just hearing it wrong and thus am holding my ‘assumption’ loosely).
I think we are interdependent enough to be innately (despite what we do internally to protect ourselves) hurt by each other. Some examples.
1. A woman is raped.
2. A population of children starves to death, while another population of children coplains about only receiving 50 Christmas presents.
3. A husband is cheated on by his wife who made an agreement/vow to remain sexually faithful to him.
4. A daughter is told she is worthless and unwanted by her father.
Each of these situations has potential for healing, potential for even good/transformation to arise from them, etc. Each of these situations can have hurt ‘lessened’ by understanding the needs/motives/history/hurts/etc. of the other person/people who were responsible.
However, something ‘personal’ was done to people. We all have free-will, to a certain degree, and thus are response-able for whether our actions are selfish or loving, compassionate or cruel, etc.
Does this make sense? And if so, how can I agree to “Not take things personally”?
By the way, out of genuine curiosity, what about my point about how for me “doing my best” tends to lead to an enslavement that “it could always be better” –how do you personally avoid that trap while committed to excellence?
You make some very good points. If we attempt to stay impeccable in our words, and always do what we say we are going to do, we are doing the right thing. Perhaps it would be wise to add “God Willing” when making promises that may be difficult to keep.
In the case of being independent of others, I think you missed the point somewhat. Of course where rape or physical violence are involved, definitely take it personally enough to get the offender help/off the street/healing. Also take it personally enough to get the victim of such abuse healing. I think being independent of other’s opinions of us is important to the extent that we don’t let others ruin our self worth, or keep us from achieving our true goals. However, this is not a healthy philosophy for someone whose goal is to hurt others.
Great ideas, putting up a powerful reminder all around the house. I do that do, especially on my bathroom mirror. I clean my teeth, and also clean my soul.
love it, kim!
love the “WORD” exercise!
oops.. I left out a couple of words.. I taped that piece of paper to my monitor..
I agree! These four seemingly simple agreement don’t really leave anything out. Master them and we will have mastered ourselves.
Also, I appreciate how Brian takes the time to relate the thoughts of these great thinkers to each other. We can really see a net of truth supporting us from past and present, from science and from intuition.
it is amazing how so much territory is covered with these ideas, huh?!?
let’s rock!
(love your name, lovesprout!
Awesome! What a great notion to get rid of “we’ll see.” Your wife and daughter are going to be so much more a peace with themselves and with you.
Holy cow — I am constantly saying that — not wanting to hurt the other’s person’s feelings when I know it is not going to happen — glad to see someone else has the ‘we’ll see” factor!
that is REALLY cool, davybuoy!
(big smiles) I can relate to this one; when I say ‘we’ll see’ my son instantly interprets that as a ‘yes’!
Think I will try your approach and change it to a definite yes or no from now on…
Great post, Kristen. There’s nothing like stilllness and silence, is there, to reveal the junk we collect it our minds. Was this a Vipassana rereat? Like the tattoo of tricker raven to remind you of the trickster mind. Who is it that often says, “Don’t believe everything you think?”
That you popped open my mind.
wow. that’s cool on the lesson learned during the silent retreat, kristen!! love it and thx for sharing.
and cool tattoo. i got a tattoo of the sanskrit symbol for the 3rd chakra on my inside right wrist to remind me to stay true to myself as I come from my most authentic core and do my best!
fun.
Katin, great observation that clarifying just one issue — that sin is not a moral pronouncement on our character of the state of our soul — can make such a great difference.
wow. cool.
someone else said above “infinite patience produces immediate results.”
AMAZING what happens when we relax a little on the firm grip to timelines, eh?!?
you might dig this video I did as well on shifting from focusing on outcomes to more energy on intention/rituals and creative production goals!
http://tv.philosophersnotes.com/130/how-im-settin...
I’m right there with ya’ on this concept, Katin! It’s amazing how a little shift in perspective on an otherwise intimidating concept (sin) can ease the anxiety and allow for a more productive result in the end. Here’s to a great PN #2 tomorrow! Peace!
Eve, my best wishes for you in centering yourself in your own inner truth as you faced moths of your students, many of whom will be wrapped in worry and fear. You are Toltec Warrior!
cool, eve! here’s to living our truths and sending lots of love!
Sunshine, awesome! Keep experimenting and trying different ways. You’ll arrive at what is exactly right for a review of your choices. And as your review cotinues, you’ll discover your choices becoming better and wiser, to the point where you’ll be sponatanesouly doing the right thing.
Enjoy the whole process!
i didn’t get to that point in your video but it’s a great distinction. we talk about that in the pursuit of perfect! me thinks it’s all about becoming an “optimalist” rather than a perfectionist and realizing that, as tal ben-shahar says, it’s all about letting our “best” be a guiding star not a distant shore.
also: i’m not taking myself anywhere near as seriously as I used to and I realized that, as ruiz says, my best is always evolving plus I *know* that I’m a better human being now than I was 10 years ago and I know I’ll be a better human being 10 years from now than I am today so I no longer focus as obsessively on the near-term as I relax into diligently, patiently, persistently, and PLAYFULLY embodying my truths knowing that eventually I’ll figure more and more of it out.
Thanks for the thought about “we’ll see”. That really opened up a new line of thinking for me with this agreement.
beautiful, guys!
LOVE that quote as well and sending lots of love your way, simlin (you, too, chris.
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WOW! love it, altruistic! thx for sharing and well said!
I think your’e on point. You must be a serious thinker. Thinkers appreciate you thoughts.
ditto!
Thanks for reminding me of the example of the bamboo shoots — seven years of growth before anything shows above ground! (Sort of like my writing career)
Yes, we are similar aren’t we. I see similarities not only the habitual behavior that comes from our being domesticated — that’s only one way we are alike. I also seem remarkable similiarities in the beliefs and principles and practices of those among us who are every day becoming more conscious and more aware.
Our spirits truly are as one. It’s often our domesication that divides into that group, that class, that religion, that race.
Lo ving what I’m seeing the Gratitude Log. We are alike because we are aware and filled with gratitude.
love it!!
beautiful beautiful beautiful!
i agree on the power of this many amazing people coming together supporting one another in embodying our truths and most fully giving ourselves to the world!
big hugs!
yayuh! great to see you here, e!
nice, ewa! dig it!
right on and thx, euan!
(LOVE eubielicious btw. hehehe
what’s the #1 habit you think you could develop that would most help you?! we’ll be coming back to this A LOT over the 50 days so we’ll get plenty of time to explore and practice!
Bill, well said. Love the line “stick like grits.” I agree, just reading the book once is not enough. I’m grateful that Brian’s mp3s are so easy to listen to, so I can hear again and again, and that the PDFs make a handy reminder guide.
I’m beginning to realize also, that going through all this reponses online is helping me think further and deeper, and REPETITION keeps hammering it home. Repetition and repetition and repetition.
I’m no expert on how things work in the 50-Day Challenge, but my guess is that YES! YOU ARE INCLUDED! These discussions are really lay a strong foundation for PURPOSE in studying the Notes.
“just reading won’t really get that” stick like grits feeling”.” Love it! Ha!
Thanks a lot. It does good to feel understood. I have no problems with the children but it is the mothers who challenge the teachers– those that are at home not the working ones. They actually need the teaching.
I thought this vid was excellent Brian and I have bookmarked the page so I can refer back to it — what a fantastic way to re-focus on the way forward.
Thank you so much, wtg, rockin it forward in 2010 woohoo
Hey Brian! Thanks for the reply!!! Great stuff in that Goals & Intentions video. It is so very cool to be at the drawing-work table with you at 8:30 in the morning!
Here’s a concept: I think for folks who are working under managers that only request outcomes, it’d be a fantastic exercise to “reverse engineer” what the right processes, production goals and intentions would be… that would support the employee’s own life and health as well as the manager’s outcomes. Fascinating.
Thanks for that video and all your work. Great work!
“as tal ben-shahar says, it’s all about letting our “best” be a guiding star not a distant shore.” excellent quote. wow. that helps to keep things in perspective
video works fine for me.
in the traffic/life getting in the way example, being impeccable with your word simply means you’d call and let someone know.
the “trend” to be independent of others’ opinions of us started a few thousand years ago. of course we’re interdependent.
someone calling us “stupid” and someone “hurting us” are two entirely independent things. that’s the whole point with the agreement. we can CHOOSE our response to it, unless we can’t… and then we’re going to suffer. to communicate with someone about their words is in no way (from my perspective) predicated on us “taking it personally.”
i’m not so sure those parents you refer to were exemplars of the 4 agreement lifestyle.
fun.
I’ve never been on a silent retreat, assumptions are all you have to go by. Intuition must have some play here too. I haven’t spent much time thinking about assumptions, I usally just ask, hopefully in a not so blunt way to offend.
Cool tatoo, my hubby has 13, my body is an empty canvass so far.
The silent retreat was with a woman named Gangaji. She comes from the Ramana, Papaji lineage in India. She was living in the Bay Area when I was and I was fortunate to spend a lot of time with her.
Thank you so much for the kind reply to my post. It really add to the feeling of community as we go through the PN50.
powerful, huh?!? i had the same response. puts everything in perspective fer sure!
thx!!!
woo hoo!
Thought provoking Katrina, thanks. Yes, I think ultimately our innate NEEDINESS (part of being human) can only be met by Source/God/The Divine/Etc. –and when we rely on others for our worth, we get into trouble.
well said, katrina!
what’s the thing that can’t be “interpreted,” leif?
thx, chris!
i have truly learnt something from these agreements and what ive learnt is that the hardest stumbling blocks in life have the simplest answers sometimes, the only hard part is implementing these attributes whilst there is still that sense of fear in your mind and the good part about these agreements is that they support themselves to work together,thank you for this incredible insight!
Thanks for your thoughts David. I probably did miss (or neglect) the ‘heart’ of the point, but still do think that if we truly want to stay lovingly connected/interdpendent with all beings, we will always run the risk of (through Love’s necessary ‘vulnerability’) being hurt either physically, emotionally, etc. Some things just can’t be ‘interpreted’ or contextualized out of. But we sure can lessen the damage, not let it ruin us, and BEST OF ALL –we can even work with the Divine Recycler to turn the hurt into a gift that would otherwise not havebeen there
Good point about intuition versus assumptions. I think my intuition comes more from my belly and my assumptions come more from my mind. But either way the best approach is just to ask! You are right on.
I’ve got 2 tattoos. The raven and I have the sun tattooed around my belly button.