Hello PhilosophersNotes Tribe? Ready to start? Today it’s The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford!
The Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford
“Jung first gave us the term ‘shadow’ to refer to those parts of our personality that have been rejected out of fear, ignorance, shame, or lack of love. His basic notion of the shadow was simple: ‘the shadow is the person you would rather not be.’ He believed that integrating the shadow would have a profound impact, enabling us to rediscover a deeper source of our own spiritual life. ‘To do this,’ Jung said, ‘we are obliged to struggle with evil, confront the shadow, to integrate the devil. There is no other choice.’”
~ Debbie Ford from The Dark Side of the Light Chasers
From Brian:
This book rocks.
We’ve talked about our “shadow” in many of these Notes. If you want an incredible overview of it, this is the book to get. It’s a short, quick read packed with REALLY powerful exercises to help discover and embrace those aspects of ourselves we’d rather ignore. Highly recommend it! (And, if you’d like to learn more, check out Debbie’s new film “The Shadow Effect” at TheShadowEffect.com!)
Like many of my favorites, this book is basically one long quote. I literally could have written the Note with Big Ideas from Chapter 1 alone. So, let’s jump in.
And as always, what’s your BIGGEST Aha! moment from this Note and how are you going to implement the wisdom from today into your life? Drop a comment and let the discussions roll!And twitter users, don’t forget the #50days Also, because lots of people are joining in on the Challenge a few days late and in case you miss a day or two, check out this page » We’ve listed every Note that will be discussed (on which day) along with links to the discussion posts.Can’t wait to get the discussion going on today’s Note.
Talk to you guys tomorrow and if you haven’t got your 100 PhilosophersNotes yet, you can grab them here »
FinerMinds is hosted by 
Hi Team
The openning is interesting “Jung first gave us the term “shadow” to refer to those parts of our personality that have been rejected out of fear, ignorance, shame, or lack of love”. To me, the systems understanding of what is going on is fascinating. The first shadow is the original non-aware entity that was simply “being” when we first declared ourselves to be “bad” or “wrong”, and created our self awareness as a byproduct — bootstrapping a new software entity into being with a declaration in language.
This beginning absolutely requires a 2 state evaluation system (right/wrong or good/bad or something similar). We cannot get started without it. We cannot progress very far until we see it for the myth that it is, until we create for ourselves a paradigm that is beyond right and wrong, or beyond good and evil. Such a paradigm is based on some variation of the idea of choices and consequence, each of which has infinite possibilities, and is without the comforting guarantees of the right/wrong model.
The most powerful way to “integrate the devil” is to see the whole notion of right/wrong and good/bad for the simplistic childish construct that it is, and move completely beyond it, without making anything either right or wrong. It takes a lot of practice. For most of us our neural nets have had decades of practice in categorising things as right/wrong, good/bad — it takes something to replace that with a new pattern, and the old pattern can never be entirely erased, shadows of it will remain forever — vigilance is required.
To me the idea of a “return to innocence”, while it captures some of the flavour, actually misses much of what is available. It is not a return to anything, it is a paradigm shift that takes us beyond a simple 2 state paradigm, to a paradigm of infinite possibility. It may seem innocent, and it is not. It is far more complex than that. It does indeed hold much creative power, and like all powerful tools, it is morally neutral, in and of itself.
I completely agree that what works is to bring acceptance and love to all that is; which is very different from thinking that all is “right”. It actually requires going beyond right and wrong. Thinking everything is “right” is actually a serious pathology. Nothing is “right”, “right” is an illusion, a simplification that children must believe as part of their development; and ideally should be left behind before teenagehood — but rarely is. Most adults die clutching tightly to their righteousness.
The next part is worth repeating in total — for it is so relevant:
“It’s Time to Look Within Ourselves
The saintly and the cynical, the divine and the diabolical, the courageous and the cowardly: all these aspects lie dormant in us and will act out if they are not recognized and integrated into our psyches. Many of us are frightened to look within ourselves, and fear has us put up walls so thick we no longer remember who we are.“
To me, part of this is inaccurate. No one can remember who they are, because nothing in our culture gives us any real idea of just what we are, actually.
Certainly there is fear, deep within us, because each of us contains at our egoic core a declaration in which we know ourselves to be “wrong” or “bad” or “evil” or whatever the worst thing we knew at that time of our lives to be. And we do not want to be that. Our brain created this whole “ego” thing in order to avoid acknowledging that.
There is no way to approach that declaration from within the paradigm of right/wrong, without creating a pathology that is equally dangerous somewhere else — it is logically impossible.
Only by moving beyond right and wrong can one actually confront and constructively integrate that experience.
G’day, Ted. Thanks for bringing up “Return to Innocence”…from Enigma’s first CD. Heh…don’t know if you intended that. In truth, it is an interesting concept of a return to non-duality. Once we achive full integration as a whole entity, we discard the polarity that good/bad and right/wrong within ourselves. The “divine child” within is not all that off center. There is a pure, driven focus and merit in retaining a degree of selfishness. As we age and interact increasingly with others, we become dependent upon their appraisals of us and develop our veneers, our habits, to become more pleasing and drive our authentic selves into the shadows…denying our basic human needs. Losing sight of that glosses over our purpose in life and makes it more of a homeostatic self that parades in lockstep with the masses. I am thankful I am not a reasonable man, and fortunate I have gotten this far intact. These notes are serving to help me restructure my foundation and are the mortar between my blocks. I have a lot of Amazoning to do once I retrieve my library to see what books I DON’T have.
Hi Mark
No reference to “Enigma” intended — it was simply the flow of words that my brain delivered when I set it the context that I did (which context did not consciously include Enigma).
I agree in a sense.
What has been called “the divine child” is to me something similar, and not that.
In my understanding, what we were initially was basically a meme machine, with a set of holographic processors. Understanding the significance of holographic processors cannot be over emphasised. They are in one sense context machines, and in another sense intuition engines.
In our first incarnation that being (as young children) we simply get to “be” in the context of culture and situation.
Then using the cultural constructs of language and a bistate valuation system in a certain context we declare our ego into being, with a declaration in language. This bootstrap creates a software pattern, that is in a sense truly free, and truly creative, it’s greatest asset and it’s greatest liability are the cultural tools it finds itself immersed in.
Growth continues. Cultural growth for the mimetic part of brain, and exploration of self for the “egoic”.
There are so many questions, and so many of the culturally supplied answers are contradictory at best, and flat out demonstrably false at worst.
Unfortunately, the brain doesn’t necessarily stop with creating just one “egoic” software entity. Every time there is major trauma in our lives, a new entity is created.
We can have hosts within us.
Ailsa and I call them our children.
We need to make friends with this tribe. They all need to experience being loved, they all need to experience have self expression through creative control of the body.
In my understanding and experience the key seems to be to create and maintain a context that is overarching that empowers the children, and brings them to consensus, rather than lays down the law in all situations.
And this analogy is not quite as simple as it seems.
To get a real sense of what is going on, one needs to be familiar with games theory, and the theory of moves.
It is amazingly complex, subtle, and can be a lot of fun, like playing with kids at play-centre. Joy in action at its best. Dealing with a room full of three year olds in full tantrum at its worst.
It’s odd.
I am thankful I am a reasonable man, and I am not a reasonable man in all situations.
I guess one of the advantages of being rejected by society from a very young age is that the opinions of others carry little weight for so many of my children. Sure, some of them crave approval, that is built into our genetics; and most of the others have been so teased, rejected and tortured that they simply don’t care. Most are not particularly spiteful (a couple are) and they are simply interested in doing their own thing with as little interference as possible from others.
That can be really useful, and also comes with it’s own set of consequences to manage.
I agree on the fortunate to have gotten this far intact.
When I think about many of the things I have done in cars, motorbikes, planes, gliders, sailboats, motorboats, skis, bikes, diggers, dozers, tractors, fishing boats, guns, SCUBA, snorkling, .… It is little short of miraculous that I am still breathing.
I am so far out of lockstep with the masses that sometimes I despair of ever achieving significant communication — and I get the feeling that the survival of us all may have something to do with achieving significant conceptual transfer.
I completely agree with you Ted on the right and wrong. Things are not right or wrong, they simply ARE. A good way to bring this into perspective is to imagine or remember some time in our lives when we took a particular action and labeled the outcome as wrong, then to recall another time that we took the same action and labeled it as right. Everyone has experienced this at some point, with some choice, and probably many times over. It’s simply our perspective at that time, from that place, helped along with our conditioning and habituated ways of looking at the world that create the illusion of right and wrong. Thanks for your post today Ted.
Hi threethrees
For me it is a yes and thing.
Yes — what you say is so, it is a habituated way of looking at the world, and it is more than that.
It is an abstract concept in language that we are taught as children that is applicable to certain contexts.
It is one of the simple ways in which one can codify action, and bring about repeatability.
It is a notion that we each require to raise us to the level of self aware beings.
And, if taken too far, it is a major impediment to growth.
What works, is to accept that having right/wrong as a phase of growth is required, and that phase of growth can actually be quite short. I suspect that under optimal conditions it could be under 2 years.
That is optimal conditions for the growth of Maslow’s “Self actualising individuals” as distinct from optimal conditions for producing economic work units or cannon fodder, or followers of whatever creed/belief structure.
Thank you for your thoughtful reply
Arohanui
Ted
Part 2
There is certainly a sense where “The Gold Is In The Dark”, where in being able to be present to our dark side, we can actually deal with reality, all of it, as it is.
We are actually, each and every one of us, potentially infinitely creative entities.
We are, actually, holographically connected to all of reality.
We are actually, extremely complex entities, part physical chemical gene machines, part cultural meme machines, and part self aware self declared software entities, intimately linked to the many layers of chemical and electrical systems that make up the bodies in which that software us runs.
“Time to Uncover, Own and Embrace” works for me, just a slightly different context.
“Seeing the Gift in the Pain” works too. A lot of power in the old saying “that which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger”.
And the key to everything “Freedom Is Being Able To Choose” — the context is king. It is always possible to find/create a context in which one can choose, even if it is simply a choice of interpetation.
Which leads to “Does This Interpretation Empower Me?” Always a powerful context to consider.
Ending with the vast gulf between saying and being in most of our lives:
“Watch The Fingers” & “Attend Your Own Lectures”.
Thanks again Brian and Vishen (and Debbie) and team.
Absolutely loved this note today! “We can run not only from our dark side but also from our bright side-from anything that threatens to make us stand out or stand alone, or that calls for the awakening of the hero within us, or that asks that we break through to a higher level of consciousness and reach a higher ground of integrity. The greatest crime we commit against ourselves is not that we may deny or disown our shortcomings but that we deny and disown our greatness-because it frightens us. If a fully realized self-acceptance does not evade the worst within us, neither does it evade the best.” This is it in a nut-shell. THE biggest thing I have learnt about myself over the last 33 days is that I’ve been running away from my bright side as well as my dark side! I’ve stopped running folks and I embrace all that I am and all that I will become.
I could write a whole essay today on this book because it’s full of nutritous thoughts. Suffice to say, this note really spoke to me and was one of the most insightful yet! Thanks Brian for bringing Debbie’s book to life and for sharing the wealth of wisdom it contains.
Glad to hear you’ve stopped running Jayne
I love the Marianne Williamsons quote too “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Sounds like you’re going to have a great day!
“I’ve stopped running folks and I embrace all that I am and all that I will become. ”
Absolutely fantastic, Jayne!
I read this note back in October, and got a lot out of it then.
Lots of great quotes:
“We need to revisit the experience of our innocence that allows us to accept all of who we are at every moment”
“Freedeom is being able to choose whoever and whatever you want to be at any moment in your life”.
Today one idea echoed what I’ve been reading in Byron Katies “Loving what is”, “Does this interpretation empower me or disempower me?” “This is why it’s so important to write things out and look at every single way you might perceive a particular incident. Just the act of writing down the words shakes loose the emotions that are tied to the incident.”.
I think I’m finally understanding that when things don’t go the way you think they should, you really cant argue with it, because that is the reality, and you have to let go of the thoughts that don’t make you feel happy.
My “Strength for Life” book arrived this morning, so after meditation, I’m off to read the book.
Have a great day everyone!
Seems to me like you just like a sponge soaking everything in from each one of these great inspirer’s! You are a wonderful person and I love to hear how empowered you are!!! = )
Thanks Lissy Lou
The last few days my head has been feeling like it’s exploding, don’t know if it’s reached the limit of wisdom that it can take in? or maybe it’s cos I’ve cut out coffee
Hey Maxine, and good Wednesday to you. I hope you are enjoying reading “Strength for Life”. An exercise that I learned since this challenge started was to go back to some experience that we have had in our lives and write down what happened (or what we remember happened
) Then we re-write it with how we would have liked it to happen. We can re-write the events and our reactions to them. I have found this exercise to be particularly rewarding, and a wonderful side effect of it is that I have actually started “remembering” things the way I have re-wrote them. It was especially helpful for some of the more traumatic experiences I have had in my life.
Happy Morning All ….
Restoring ourselves to wholeness by accepting it all….
now how freeing is that?
This journey is all a test…
We pass the tests by treating everything we go through as a gift… a learning moment, a time to reflect and be grateful…. for the opportunity to pass to the next test…
Not a bad thing a great thing..
Im thrilled to be taking the tests alongside of you all!
You have given me sooo many cheat notes to pass…
thanks
gtg see you later
Hahahaa.…Love your post today puresue. The really wonderful thing about these tests, is that none of us are “cheating”…collaboration is allowed and encouraged!
yea! and here is one of the best places to collaborate!
What Debbie writes about is nothing short of liberation and talk about a practice! This, integrating of the shadow self is a beautiful, lifelong practice; a practice that for me is supported the cultivation a radically friendly inner world; a world that welcomes everything. When I begin here, in my inner world, when I am relentless in my welcoming attitude, when I use my triggers as wake up calls to the work that is still to be done — smiling at the whole dang process — I become unstoppable. Now don’t get me wrong, there are days when this is the farthest thing from my heart and consciousness. Yesterday was one such day. I struggled against myself all morning long until at some point it occurred to me to put down my weapon and walk off the field. Only then, standing in gratitude for what was present could I begin to feel my way back into myself. It was a beautiful reminder of the power that lies in gratitude, of turning towards, of standing still and listening to the parts of me that thwart my efforts, trip me up and get in my way.
My shadow man is quite a figure. He has a huge hulking, rather frightening looking build. True to his name, he prefers the dark places in my psyche just outside of the light. Ignored, he will make himself known. He has the power to bring me to my knees. He is fond of leaving his calling card when I’ve forgotten him. It’s his way of reminding me of his presence. Acknowledged and included, he adds strength and power to my living. He is a powerful teacher when he walks with me. It is because of him that I can have deep compassion for others. We make quite a team. He has surfaced in the last couple of days, most notably in this writing. I am being reminded to keep the course of working with him. While it has been a life strategy to ignore the darker aspects of myself and shame them in others, I have found such sweet relief by holding it all and loving it all.
Nice post John! Thank you .… Have a great day!
Thanks, P!!
How true John, when we struggle against that strong, fierce shadow person within us, we are always exhausted, but if we invite them to journey with us, out in the open, then we find strength that we never knew we had. Light and darkness could not exist with the other, and too often, in trying to find our light, we try to ignore the darkness. That’s when the shadow decides that it’s high time to remind us that they are there. I think you did a powerful thing by realizing that the fight was useless, and dropping your weapon and opening yourself up to be grateful in the moment. How empowering!!! Go John, Go!!!!!
Will you follow me around all day and keep yelling that: “Go, John, go!” Thank you for your reflection and affirmation.
Go John, Go! You can do it, you can do it, yes you can!!!.…lol
Attend your own lectures … I love that ! makes me stop and think what exactly am I lecturing my 5 year old about … time to stop and listen!
and listen in on other’s lectures, that you admire and what can you take away from them, for the good
This is the same thing that resonated with me. Sometimes we’re too busy teaching everyone else the lessons we need to learn ourselves.
Here’s to taking off the professor cap, and taking notes for our own lectures.
Hiya Marty. Great advice, isn’t it? If ya fall asleep during the lecture you certainly know who is at fault. And…you have a cure for insomnia. =)
I personally feel that I lived more as my shadow rather than my true self during some of the darkest times of my life. By personally accepting the fact that I cannot change the past and consiously focusing on the future in all aspects of my life, I shank that shadow down.
I stopped walking around with my head down, afraid of being noticed because I had based my self-worth entirely on what other people thought of me.
It wasn’t until I found someone who knew “what others thought of me” but choose to make his own judgement on ‘who I was,’ that I finally escaped that shadow. He believed in me when I told him my hopes and dreams. Before we were together, he too lived ‘as the shadow’ rather than his true-self. Together we are better.
I live for the now and what will be. Every day is an adventure. The journey to escaping your shadow is a hard lesson, but it’s worthwhile.
Hi, Kelly. I like the saying, “What you think of me is none of my business.” The more closely attuned I remain to that sentiment the happier I am. Not that we should be totally ignorant of the feelings of others, just that we should not take (our perceptions of ) their thoughts as our own. And we should not depend upon input from others to complete ourselves. Good for you practicing that and walking with head held high. In shadow work, once you have integrated them (shadows) with your entire self they become a part of you, previously ignored allies brought to the forefront to give you a whole and united self. Always look for the blessing in the lesson, the positive in the negativity. Smiles.
Re:“What you think of me is none of my business.” That is a good saying Mark! Thanks for sharing! Have a great day!
As has happened many days during this challenge, I feel like this note was perfect for where I am today. I feel very integrated this morning, and before listening to the note, I was having a gratitude moment for a sense of feeling whole. But, I do accept that this is likely a state today…I have work to get to that stage level, so it is very good in this place for me to hear this note, again. I love being reminded that love includes all the parts of us. And, this really jumped out to me today: “The saintly and the cynical, the divine and the diabolical, the courageous and the cowardly: all these aspects lie dormant in us and will act out if they are not recognized and integrated into our psyches.” I love that it is suggested that the saintly, the divine and the courageous may act out, not just those others that we typically do not like in ourselves…it reminds me of the mantra from Dr. Chopra about being totally independent of the good and bad opinions of others, because when we are whole, we are not congratulating ourselves for acting divinely, or even just as nice human beings, we simply are.
Wow what a bonus. Shawn Phillips replied on my comment to his book yesterday, and on many others.
Yeah, I thought that was really great too Maxine
Day 33 The Dark Side of the Light Chasers 24 February 2010 “What I see in you, I see in me.” This is part of acknowledging the dark side in an exercise I used to conduct in workshops. We uncovered innermost fears and repressed feelings quickly by looking into one another’s eyes for two…solid…minutes. The honesty was amazing. It was at first fearful. Uncomfortable.We wore our masks, our habits, on the outside. We showed our “good sides”. As Debbie recommends, ask a family member or co-worker. Better yet, ask a stranger. We looked for the blessing in the lesson…how to embrace our dark sides and integrate with them in order to bring our “total selves” into the light and own our shadows…with pride. It’s a work I will never forget, because it is what I still do every time I see fault in another. When that happens, I just think, “What I see in you, I see in me” and immediately set upon resolving the conflicting issue.
Genpo Roshi advised us about the shadows (voices). Get on first name terms with them or the ignored ones will nag us to death. At least to a ragged existence. I do the shadow work when I look at others and notice their flaws. I am seeing what I most dislike about me. “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part…” in Corinthians 1:13 held that wisdom then, and it is just as wise now. When we look into a glass (mirror) we see ourselves as we want others to see us. Vanity polishes silver behind the surface to accommodate our shadow obscurity. When the glass lightens, or clears, it is like a window (into the soul) and we are bared. This is another reason I love the eye-to-eye exercise, because, if the eyes are the windows to the soul, surely the doorway must be through the heart.
I did a variation of the exercise at a Centerpointe retreat. Had look into eyes of partner for 2 minutes and say “I am someone who…” without repeating yourself. Then we switched and did this for at least 3 rounds. very powerful.
LEARNINGS
Hello and good day all! I’ve been contemplating how to write this note for about an hour now. To me, it seems that it brings together so many of the other notes by revealing the “deep structure” of the art of living. Nearly every one of the big ideas from the note was meaningful to me, so what I’d like to do is share a little story of a kind, fascinating, and brilliant friend of mine.
At the time I met him, my friend was a very successful corporate attorney. While the rest of his organization’s c-level offices were lined in rich mahogany paneling, filled with leather-covered furnishings, had giant/dark floor-to-ceiling window coverings (usually closed), dark carpeting, small humidors filled with fine cigars, and little closets containing all sorts of beverages. My pal’s office space was completely different. As soon as you walked in, the space felt light and transparent. On each of the walls hung one or two giant (5 feet or bigger), intricate pen-and-ink mandalas. The office was simply furnished in glass, light-colored woods, and small circular sculptures and miniature mandala-like paintings. Lighter colored oriental throw rugs covered much of the dark carpet, and a small, perpetually fresh flower arrangement sat atop his work desk.
My friend’s story was that he had become disillusioned with the practice of law, quit, and went to graduate school to study Jungian psychology, mythology, and do lots of depth work. The giant mandalas on the wall were originals from a close artist friend who had passed away a few years earlier. He explained to me that the mandala had changed his life. Apparently, he learned when Carl Jung was disturbed, he would draw mandalas to help integrate aspects of his psyche. My friend chose this route and his near year-long contemplation of certain mandalas caused him to fully integrate and welcome home certain aspects of his shadow that had been causing him upset. The result was his eventual return to the law. As a reminder, he collected mandalas.
Whenever he felt conflicted or was unsure of what to do, he would focus his attention on the mandalas and a more integrated answer/approach would appear to him.
This is a beautiful memory for me about being able to find that still point in the midst of chaos, and for discovering the paradox. And being in the moment of this stillness, trusting that a natural integration will take place.
EXPERIMENT
I feel that the silent meditation I’ve recently begun is allowing to hear the still, small voice even more clearly. It’s starting to be quite rewarding to sit still :0-)
Here are a couple of neat cognitive approaches to shadow work — individual and community.
John Dupuy of integralrecovery.com describes an interesting integral shadow-work process he learned from Ken Wilber (3–2-1 Shadow Work). http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeK4AYG5Kqs
Here’s an article on the use of the Johari/Nohari window to mine the dark depths of organizational life. http://ultibase.rmit.edu.au/Articles/aug99/hase1….
Sounds like a heck of a cool attorney. The Q&A in the John Dupuy video is very reminsent of Big Mind. Just that in Big Mind a facilitor leads the questions.
Hi AF, yes, he’s one of these people who can do the toughest of jobs and exude compassionate strength. I’m going to go back and look at more of the Big Mind stuff again tonight. I really enjoy hearing Genpo Roshi speak and I’d like to learn more about the Big Mind process. Thanks! ~ Tom
HI Tom! Thanks for sharing the video and the “Johari Window” article! Awesome stuff!
Have a great day!
You’re welcome, Peter. The Johari/nohari window are a personal favorite! Best to you! Tom
I loved reading your story today Tom. It was a beautiful reminder of how sometimes we think we aren’t on the right path, but after we do some searching we realize it’s right where we were meant to be all along. I haven’t watched the video or checked out your link yet, but I’m sure I will enjoy them as I have all the other coollinks you’ve posted. Thanks for sharing and have the best day of your life
Hi threethrees, thank you for the eloquent description of your insight. Now that you put it this way, I guess this fellow is a great example for me too of someone who’s willing to bravely honor that voice and do what needs doing no matter how scary it may seem. It took lots to leave a lucrative law practice and drop into intensive study with no income for a couple of years. Thanks for your perspective, threethrees! Tom
I got the Shadow Effect DVD at Christmas but haven’t watched it yet. Now I’m looking forward to it. As the note says this book reminds me a lot of Big Mind, which I’ve done live a number of times. It is all too true that any aspect of ourselves we ignore, deny, or attempt to bury will pop up in destructive ways.
Love being inclusive makes perfect sense, though I must admit I never thought hate, jealousy etc were part of love.
Running from our Light as well as our Dark is very true in my experience. So many have a fear of shining too bright, getting too much attention and making others seem dimmer by comparison.
Love Branden’s quote “The greatest crime we commit against ourselves is not that we may deny or disown our shortcomings but that we deny and disown our greatness—because it frightens us.”
I read somewhere that there is really only one emotion…LOVE and that when we feel like we aren’t getting enough love, that love become fear, and then all other emotions spring from that dichotomy. So I guess it’s saying the same thing in a sense, everything is love, joy, pain, hatred, compassion, jealousy, happiness, depression, and delight. It’s really something that made me think.
I think it was with Bill Harris that I learned that what bothers us most in others, bothers us most about ourselves. The “issues” we see in other people tell us much more about us and what we refuse to face.
At the bottom of every personal pile of shit lies a gift that too often is ignored.
Love “Watch The Fingers”, hadn’t heard that one. A great reminder.
Hi AF
A friend of mine who was in parliament for almost 30 years had what he called his first law of politics — when under stress a politician always accuses his opponent of his own worst faults.
Spent quite a few hours observing it for myself, and it seems to hold true well over 90%.
Same thing different context.
As a known dabbler I realize all that I may have done on Shadow work is only a partial effort toward resolving what may be in my shadow. So I feel I’ve read a lot about the shadow and the unconscious aspects of who we are or might be. But Debbie Ford seems to do an excellent job in summarizing how we can rediscover these shadow aspects of ourselves. One of the Big Ideas that got through to me from this video lecture is that we are not perfect only looking at those parts of ourselves that we accept but perfect as a whole assembled being with recognized flaws. I’m sure I heard that before but it seemed to ring a loud bell this time.
Another concept that stikes a chord deeply within me is noticing projections. Here is a poem on projections that I wrote a couple of years ago.
Copyright © April 2004 Walt Weintz
Projection
by Walt Weintz
Sometimes what people do reminds me of me
They show my shadow. Who I was, or might be
When their actions frighten me without reason
I’ve reached, no doubt, a lost internal lesion
My view of others is not of them but me
From my past their actions provide a new key
Often others appear better—in my view
Showing courage, compassion and wisdom too
Yet I’ve realized these attributes I’m seeing
Are from my own psyche’s dark spots, agreeing
In this dark place, at times, little candles glow
Causing better insight. Causing self to grow
Seeing distorted projections from within
Expose my hidden traits of goodness and sin
Awareness next releases lost parts of my soul
And wholeness assembles…fulfilling my goal
Now standing as a unit solid and free
I note my life is but a drop in the sea
Billions of souls we know form humanity
Collective lives struggling to find sanity
When the pieces come together there is no me
Instead, I see a new whole—of God and thee
Thanks for sharing the poem Walt! Cool stuff! Have a great day!
That was beautiful Walt, I really do appreciate you sharing that with us!
Wow…that is GREAT poem…it gave me chills and brought tears to my eyes. I’m so grateful for you sharing this.…it’s absolutely wonderful.
beautiful…
Hi my friends
I have not been on in a few days. For some reason I cannot get intense dabate to load on my computer grrrrrrr! Oh well.…did someone mention gremlins this week.…
I am asking for a special group intention. You guys have become like family so I am asking for some positive thoughts and vibrations as I head off to my interview. I’ll try to be back here later to post my two cents worth.….
Enjoy your afternoon y’all and wish me some luck
Hi Ann Marie
I was thinking about you yesterday, do tell, how did the interview go? I was wishing you luck!!
Maxine
I have to say, I read this note a little bit early and loved it! The quote that sticks in my head is “What you don’t own, owns you.” This is so true. Unless we are willing to own our life experience and the wide range of our emotions and thoughts, how can we ever improve on them or see them in a different light… or shadow in another word. Nothing is neither good or bad, all emotions and experiences that we have are for a reason and in order to really become that person you want to be, you must search within those dark crevices that we have all been keeping dormant and embrace everything life has to offer and we will all become whole again, what a feeling huh? Lets start digging!!!
Lol…isn’t it funny how if you dig deep enough, you come out on TOP of the mountain???
“We can run not only from our dark side but also from our bright side—from anything that threatens to make us stand out or stand alone, or that calls for the awakening of the hero within us” I’m sure that I’m not alone when I say that this quote summarizes me. I am, and have always been, way more afraid of my light than my dark. It’s always seemed like the dark was acceptable and comfortable even, perhaps because there are so many others lost in the dark. I have never really known many people whose light shone brilliantly, and I often find myself afraid of my own power. I mean, what might I do with all that power?
lol What I have been discovering on my path as I turn my light on and off, is that nothing is ever as bad as I make it out to be. Sure there may be some dust and cobwebs in some of the corners the light hasn’t shown in in a while, but there are no monsters lurking under the beds or in the closets. When I first saw the book up for consideration today, I wasn’t sure that I would have to much to write about, but now I can see that while I may accept the dark, negative aspects of me, that I have yet to fully embrace the positive, empowering aspects that I also have.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” This has become one of my favorite quotes over the past year or so. I often refer back to it in order to remind myself to shine, to shine bright, so that others can see as well as myself. I have not had many people, I can seriously only think of maybe 2–3, in my life who were a brilliant, shining light, and I think there needs to be more people like that in the world. So I am doing my best to turn my sporadic keychain flashlight into a full fledged lighthouse.
“How am I that?” Again, here is synchronicity showing up for me. Last night, I listened to a recording that was about how our identities shaped our lives, and in the call, the speaker, Steve Wells, said that there were 2 really good exercises we could do to help ourselves be our highest selves. They are pretty much the same. The first one is to think about people or habits that really irritate you, and notice how you tell yourself that you are not really like that, you don’t act like that, then to say that maybe you are like that, maybe you want to be like that, and then to realize that you have those same qualities. The second exercise was to look at people or qualities that you admire, and to go through the same exercise. Essentially he was saying the same thing. No matter how dark or bright, positive or negative, the things we admire and dislike in others are qualities that we ourselves already contain but are just not owning up to.
Hahahahahaaaaa.…..ohh..I love that.…there must be a pony somewhere in here!!! That is fabulous and actually made me laugh out loud today
I hope that all of us can, not only keep our lights shining, but keep them burning brighter and brighter. Happy Wednesday peeps.
So I decided to go abck and check yesterday’s comments since I was unable to log into intensedeabte and therefore get notifications, and WOW…the author of book came and left messages. wasn’t that great? I found it to be really wonderful that he took time out of his day to come and see what we all had to say about Brian’s notes on his book.
“We live under the pretense that in order for something to be divine it has to be perfect.
Outstanding, Only two days ago during morning meditation and right through the day the thought of “perfection” in and all around me. And latter on amplified during my daily hike, I love walking in the forest, that’s where I am most at home, going up and down those hills among the trees and the whole of nature. We are blessed here on Vancouver Island, with many, many trails and a great number of parks. So during my walk I was looking at trees and seeing them all perfect the straight ones and the crooked ones, the leaning ones and the ones shooting for the sky, all of them each different then the other but all perfect in its own way. And so am I thought, so am I. From that point it was all but new thought coming in one after the other and one question, no one and nothing is perfect, well and good, according to whom? And again this one has been around for a while. What other think of me is not of my business, what I think of myself that’s what’s important.
And today these notes on the dark side of life, maybe I really need to pay attention? Like really.
I think I do and getting some mind blowing results. Passivity, the art of waiting for things that I can’t change actually changes. All my life from school age on I was criticized for being too passive. The discovery is that being passive allow for great patience toward people and project with many stumbling blocks. Allowing and giving people time to prove themselves. I think the passive person’s prayer goes something like that. “Lord let me change the things I can, accept the one I can’t and the wisdom to know the difference”
I am working on others, this one was fairly easy, others might take time to get around and finding the gold. I love the process. When I was a kid in school one of my teacher told my parents that I wasn’t holding grudges, toward the end of the years she said that she wished I was a bit more unforgiving and I would not get hurt so much. Well that didn’t change and now I am looking at it as a good thing. When growing up I could not figure out why some of the character traits where labeled “bad” when actually they are in reality strength… And listening to those comment over and over actually caused more problems in the long run.
Somehow I wish these books were available and part of the school curriculum, what do you think?
It is very difficult to get far enough out of ourself to coach ourselves on behaviour. That’s why no one can psychoanalyze themselves—their own familiarity prevents it.
Recognition of our dark side helps us avoid dark side behaviour. If you want gold sometimes you have to dig deep into your darkside to find it but it’s not going to come out as shiny nuggets. The mixture of gold and dark matter will have to be refined and separated to yield any value.
Your shadow or dark side can be the source of your talent or ability. If you’re satisfied with your talent or ability, let sleeping dogs lie. There is no benefit in changing yourself as an academic exercise.
Hello All — Great to be back — was out for a couple of weeks! Glad to see everyone’s comments.
the “attend your own lectures” comment — hit home — I find myself doing that quite often — I should listen to myself and actually do what I have the nerve to tell other people to do!
Read “Ask and it is Given” — FANTASTIC book — changed my life — now I have the soundtrack in my head telling me when I am thinking wrong!! And, I had a real life experience with the law of attraction. Bear with me because it shocked me when I realized it.
have a friend (really it isn’t me) who is married and has been reeling from an extramarital affiar gone bad. He has been suffering quite a bit (I know I know he deserves it). But this is what happened — he kept focusing on the relationship — the good — how it made him feel — etc. The out of now where another woman starts communicating with him in appropirate manner (for a married man).
I was floored — he was a perfect example of the law of attraction — seriuosly this relationship almost killed him, could have (probably should have) destroyed his marrage and the life he knew — but he couldn’t let the thoughts of the good things go — and wham there was another opportunity.
Once he told me his quote was “why does God put these situations in front of me” my response — “the universe will give you what you ask for“
Strange analogy I know — but seemed to fit.
Have a great night everyone.
Hi! I found the following quotes in the “The Dark Side Of The Light Chasers” PhilosophersNote to be rather enlightening! “not about getting rid of things we dislike in ourselves” Cool! .…. Now Integrating! .….
“It became clear that the process was not about getting rid of things we dislike in ourselves, but about finding the positive side of these aspects and integrating it into our lives.”
The ability to choose! .…. Very powerful!
“Freedom is being able to choose whoever and whatever you want to be at any moment in your life.”
Thank you Brian for another awesome PhilosophersNote! Another rung on the ladder! Have a great day All!
difficult. true.
One of the key take-aways I got from this Note was the idea that as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. That insight gives me permission to let my light shine. Because it lets me shift the attention off myself and on to others.
Shadow work is the path of the heart warrior. It takes us to a new place in our consciousness where we have to open our hearts to all of ourselves, and to all of humanity.
Freedom is being able to choose whoever and whatever you want to be at any moment in your life.
Hold your hand straight out and point at someone. You’ve got one finger pointed at them and three more right back at yourself.
Attend your own lectures. Dance with the Shadow!!
It is a real postmortem of our inner side!!
post 1 of 2
Although Debbie Ford’s work doesn’t strike a chord within me like the works of the other great masters we’ve been discussing during this challenge, she does have an amazing view on how we can open ourselves to being the whole beings that we are. I love how she emphasizes that love is all inclusive and that we need to look within ourselves. I see these two points as compassion and taking responsibility for our life, two very big ideas discussed in nearly every note thus far and two points that are extremely important as we master our practice. Personally for me it took me some time to accept the parts of me that I disliked but once I accepted them I found that changing them became so much easier and enjoyable.
I think the exercise of asking “How Am I That” is a HUGE one and one that I personally need to engage in daily, especially around my work peers. I find that I seclude myself at work and mentally judge/complain/criticize some of the people I am not too fond off. I am well aware of the negativity this creates to my own wellbeing and those of others and it is something that very recently I have started working on.
post 2 of 2
By secluding myself and engaging my mind in useless talk I am allowing myself to become a victim of my circumstances and disempowering my own potential in ways that trickle down to other areas of my life. I blame my work circumstance for so much yet at the same time it is my biggest lesson (something I mentioned before) and since taking responsibility for my thoughts/actions at work things have changed for the better and continue to change.
I found this to be a great note in reminding us to accept the not so great stuff and recognize that we need the not so great suff as a foundation for the great goodness we are all capable of having to bloom beautifully
Dark Side of Light Chasers
Debbie Ford
I have listened to this one 3 times and it really fascinates me. I love that the Gold is in the Dark. Shadow work is so powerful and I love it.
I rather be whole than be good.
Love is inclusive it leaves nothing out.
Make a list of things you do not like within yourself and see the gifts in them.
Seeing the gift in the pain — horse manure pony story really special.
Freedom is the ability to chose who and what you want to be at any moment.
The finger pointing is a strong exercise.
We judge when we don’t accept that quality within ourselves and if you admire greatness in a human being it is your own greatness you are seeing.
Attend your own lectures — what are you lecturing on about that you should be paying more attention to.
Dance with the shadow and shine brightly!
Fabulous note!
Christina