Welcome back! It’s time for Part 3 in our FinerMinds series on Becoming Just Awesome. Today, I’m going to cover our obsession with our own problems. (We really are too enthusiastic about everything going wrong in our lives.) I’ll also share information on the importance of leading a gratitude-oriented life, which is essential for anyone wanting to ‘up’ their level of happiness and success.
As I mentioned in the first article in this series, many of these concepts I’m sharing are inspired by T. Harv Eker. What I’m about to impart is based on a demonstration I saw at a T. Harv Eker seminar about three weeks ago. Upon reflection, this is probably one of the moments that resonated with me the most.
Harv was on stage, and he had a large flip chart beside him. On the flip chart was a small, black circle. He started talking about problems and then, all of a sudden, he smashed his head into the flip chart where the circle was. With his head still attached to the circle on the flip chart, he explained (actually, yelled is more like it; he’s a passionate guy) that the small circle represented our problems.
The rest of flip chart, which was 95% white space, represented the rest of our lives. With his head connected to the flip chart, all Harv could literally see was his ‘problem’ circle. This is how most people exist, he reported. The majority entirely fail to see the 95% of their life that is pretty fantastic.
With all our energies directed towards the problem 5%, it’s not surprising that we easily become dissatisfied, anxious and depressed. It’s as though we’ve got blinders on, we can’t move our necks, and we’re forced to stare at something we perceive as negative. This would make anyone grumpy and upset, and yet we do this ALL THE TIME.
The disturbing part is no one is forcing us to wear blinders or stopping us from moving our necks. We do this to ourselves. We condition ourselves out of getting perspective and taking in the beauty around us.
So, how do we recognize and exist in accordance with the 95% of our life that is great?
There is no quick fix to doing this. We’re inherently drawn towards situations we perceive as problems – it’s our pesky overprotective mind at work here – but the practice of gratitude does offer hope.
Experiencing gratitude draws the mind away from its fixation on problems. Right now some of you might be thinking, “what exactly is gratitude?” Well, gratitude is like the first cousin of appreciation or thankfulness. It’s a positive emotion or attitude in acknowledgement of a benefit that one has received or will receive. For example, you might experience gratitude for the incredible meal you just ate or the warm bed you get to sleep in tonight.
Interestingly, scientific research has reported some incredible findings on individuals who practice gratitude in their daily lives.
Robert Emmons, a University of California (Davis) Psychology professor, has come out with a book that documents the gratitude-happiness effect: Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier.
His research shows how:
- People who regularly practice grateful thinking can increase their “set-point” for happiness by as much as 25%.
- Such increases in happiness can be sustained over a period of months, challenging the previously held notion that our “set-point” is frozen at birth.
- Keeping a gratitude journal for as little as three weeks can result in better sleep and more energy.
This is huge! And Emmons isn’t the only researcher to report these findings: other studies found people who experience gratitude more frequently also tend to be happier, more helpful and less depressed than their less grateful counterparts.
In sum, practicing gratitude offers individuals a practical way to work towards leading less problem-oriented lives.
EXERCISE
This is a simple exercise, and one that many of you might already be practicing (which is excellent, by the way!). The exercise is to write down every morning five things you’re grateful for from the day before.
What did you experience the day before that gave you sense of gratitude? Was it being able to go for a refreshing walk in the morning? Was playing with your kids? It could be anything. Don’t think too hard about it; just reflect on the day before and write down the first five things that come to your mind.
You might find it easier to keep a journal for this exercise. And you can keep your journal with you, to review it during the day. The objective is to keep this practice going for three weeks, as Emmons suggests this is about the amount of time it will take to notice the effect. And, obviously, if you feel this practice benefits you, don’t stop!
For those of you already keeping a gratitude journal, please share how this practice has impacted your life, as a way to inspire others. For those of you just starting this practice, let me know how it goes!
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This is the best one I dont realy have a journal, but i will have one now starting today i realygive gratitude every for even to be reading right now. thank for this.
Inspiring .… great start up point and polisher to previous sequence of thinking one may have been putting off to be grateful about another day!
I really enjoyed this article. I have watched the DVD The Secret and they discuss having a gratitude rock. This article expanded on that because it discusses the other parts of our lives that are great and we only focus on the bad. I have a gratitude list but not a journal..of course the list was done a month ago and there is much to add hence a journal is a much better idea.
I don’t keep a ‘gratitude journal’ as such, but I have this thing called our ‘happy pot!’ that when my eight year old is in a down moment, especially for eg coming home from school in the car. I ask her what is in her happy pot today? We look for 5 things to put in there. At the end we are both smiling!
How grateful we are for this insight. I’ve been regularly keeping a gratitude journal for about 6 months and the change is noticeable to those around me.
Standing in a long line to buy my morning coffee is no longer the “Big Itch” it used to be as now I Choose to spend that time feeling sincere gratitude for the cup I’m about to receive and breathing in the pleasant aroma.
The habit of practicing sincere gratitude should be taught in our schools. Oh… For A Perfect World
Thanks for the insight
This is simply an awesome idea. I started asking myself, why do we concentrate so much on our problems instead of focusing on everything else? Why are we so adept at self sabotage? Thanks very much for raising my level of awareness
Nothing original in this message from T.Harv Ecker. He has taken other original teachings of transformation and put his name on them.
I have a journal for many things but now Iam having one seperate journal for Gratitude, thank you, I’m grateful = Gratitude
I find that in Australia, ‘tall poppy syndrome’ may contribute to divert people’s attention to the negative. Being grateful is essential and I find being vocal about it is key, writing lists is great, but for me I like to let people know then and there because it gives them a boost and that gives me a boost!
The gratitude technique is the best. I take it a step further and create a list of the things I love about myself, others and my life. Gratitude and love are two powerful feelings!!
hi evryone, for the last few months i am keeping a gratitude jornal and it is amazing!!!
it brings miracles about. i am much happier, my relationship with my hudsband is better, awarness is wider, apriciation for what support me.… and much much more. i do recomend this jornal practice for everyone.
Hello! This is so true. I am a single mother of 3 beautiful kids(13,6,4). Every morning before I drop my children off in school. We say prayer together in the car and then I ask my children to say 5 things that they are thankful for and its just amazing! Their faces light up they are just so happy to thank God everyday for all the great things that happen to them even if they are simple things like their dog or toys. Children are very receptive and why not leave something that they can pass on to my future grandchildren to better this world. And if I get cought up or forget they remind me because they enjoy that quality time thanking God. And when they grow up they wont forget that there are more things to be thankful for than the menial issues of daily life.
As a response to Lynne… Does it matter as long as the transformational message is getting out there? We ALL learn from someone and we ALL share it in our own words. It’ like saying that a philosophy professor expounding on Plato shouldn’t be listened to because he didn’t think of it first! Learn from all you can. It’s how we grow.
I tried keeping a record of the things that made me grateful, and when I considered these matters, it was surprising how much I have to give thanks for.
By doing this it makes your problems become lesser, as it takes your mind off the particular problem that you thought you had, and it becomes less of a problem.
I recommend that you do try it.
Thanks for the article.
Thank you for the insites that you have provided for me and many people. I bought the secret book of gratitude by mistake thinking it was the secret I have wrote the things I am gratefull for but stoped as I thought I was buying a different book.
now I know that it was the right book for me as I have had other teachers of self awareness come into my life and even in this economic climate I have all I need to grow and I am managing to pay my debts and rent and i now see that as I take one step forward I will be carried forward by te universe if i belive and stay forcused.
Thank you all for sharing your stories, I am truly gratefull
Gratitude had beeing the traditionally Japanese religious teaching. That may be the reason that to be the World Second Economic power of the world. Unlike my poor Brazil, where the football and Carnival look to be the important aspects of the civilization. We must do something for such a situation. But what?
Thank you for this article. It is very easy to get caught up in the worlds theories of happiness and lose sight of true happiness which is not in material things. I have always just kept a journal of transforming thoughts but never a gratitude journal. I will start praticing this as soon as possible.
Lynne– I agree with Jim. It doesn’t matter who said what first. This is still a powerful article and many people may have been introduced to this concept for the first time. Obviously you must not practice this because your outlook is negative. Maybe is was meant for you to see it again so you can begin to have a shift in your perception. Nothing happens on accident. Everything happens for a reason. Take it or leave it.
Awesome,recreating,Gratitude unlocks all doors of life.
Thankyou for this great article and thankyou guys for your priceless comments. Keep the fire burning.
Iam starting the Journal thing today — Cheerio
George Nonde
Pity, Lynne didn’t get it at all. May be, not yet ready for it(Everything a man needs comes to him when he is ready to use it).
The very act of expressing Gratitude takes me to a higher level. I can feel it every time I express my gratitude. And thanks to Oprah Winfrey for the idea of maintaining a Grateful Journal. Shankar, Mysore, India 26 01 2009
If something does not work, like where do you get feedback.
Thank you for reminding me about having Gratitude
You have turned my day around!
Have a GREATful one everybody
Marek
@Lynne: I have noted that many great minds are expounding on the same concept, but using different images and words. To me, each is addressing a particular audience that might not be able to hear or understand another teacher. (eg. the difference between listening to Maharishi and Deepak Chopra — the former was so esoteric, I was lost most of the time. Deepak said the same things in such a way I was able to “get it”). I consider myself fortunate when I can hear different perspectives on great truths because it helps me find alternative ways to pass the information on to those I care about.
The concept of a gratitude journal is one that I have recommended to chemically dependent people in recovery for many years. It is invaluable as a tool for changing one’s life. It has certainly helped to keep uncounted numbers of people sober.
Just reading all your comments above make me feel so grateful for today already.
@Lynne : So? If too much receiving is a problem, focus on giving it away. A huge portion of this world is still trying to survive, much less owning a desktop to visit this website.
Great article. I liked the illustration with the flip chart from T. H. Eker — makes you think about how narrow minded we people are. There are so many things to be grateful for and since I am a student of The Secret of Life and doing a lot of research for my website I know that Gratitude is an important part in having a good life. If you want to succeed you must keep an attitude of gratitude. I have a a gratitude journal and I have been using it for the last 6 months. Every night before going to bed I write down what I am grateful for which I have, but also for what I am going to have. I write it down in present tense as if I already have it and it works. Life is good.
hi, i donot keep a gratitude journal, but one is sure. that when i am start write down the thing i am grateful for, my body is relaxed and almost all stress goes. its good excercise to do. thank for the information.…