a) Passionate about building a better life for yourself

b) Dedicated to accomplishing your goals and dreams

So if those two things above resonate with you, then read on to see what Hani Khaursar (our super cool video editor at MindValley) has whipped up. It’s from her fresh off the press blog, The Blisscipline. I dare ya to check it out.

My favorite was #4 and I’ll probably have to work on it though. Drop a comment and share what your favorite points are and what you’re going to be working on.

Why Checking Out The Competition Is Sometimes A Bad Idea

By Hani Khaursar from TheBlisscipline.com

How many times did I freak out while building this site – my friends a.k.a super support group can give you a detailed report I’m sure. I would be moving along confidently and then decide to go ‘do some research’ and check out other blogs and websites. This is usually when the trouble began. I would start comparing my website, articles, videos, myself even to every other website out there and freak out! Yes, I’m quite dramatic.

Things I would freak out about:

• “Everyone else is better than I am”
• “How in the world am I going to do all of this?”
• “Am I providing value to people?”
• “No one is every going to read / watch / come to my blog!”
• and on and on..

Lucky for me, I have the most amazing friends and mentors – many who are successful professional coaches – who readily shared their knowledge with me. I’m not telling you this to show off, but because I am going to share the knowledge they imparted on me, with you (hurrah!) It has been priceless for me and has helped me tremendously and if you’re out there trying to make it on your own (I know it can be scary) I hope this knowledge can help you too!

Technique vs Mindset:

You’ve heard this argument before? Well, if you’re still not where you want to be in life, then you haven’t heard it enough! I cannot stress enough how understanding the difference between the two can change your life. No matter how much you follow in the footsteps of someone successful (technique), if you do not have the right mindset, then you’re going to fail.

What is the right mindset? Read on:

1) It is ok to fail: What is your Bounce back rate?

When my business idea was shot down by a mentor I was completely bummed. Understand that I respect this person a lot and his opinions mean a lot to me. However instead of ditching the idea I decided to take his advice and use it as a template of ‘things I need to improve’ in the idea.  It is ok to get your ideas shot down, what is important is how quickly you bounce back. Use all your rejections as a way to develop the right mindset.This is the best time to practice. If you let every rejection (and there will be many) make you lose your ground, then you will get nowhere.

2) Stop being a perfectionist!

I was told one day to repeat to myself, “I am a recovering perfectionist” as many times as necessary. Every step of the way during the process of creating this website I had to repeat that to myself or else this website much less any of it’s articles or videos would never have seen the light of day. Never let your quest for perfection distract you from your true objective. This one is a tough one especially for me because sometimes it physically pains me to put out videos or designs that don’t have every ‘t’ crossed and every ‘i’ dotted (again with the drama!) but I won’t let my perfectionism (is this even a word?) sabotage my success so I put out videos even if weren’t up to my personal standards because I would much rather see them published than not at all.

Click here to continue reading about the right goal-getting mindset »

“Perfectionism and optimalism are not distinct ways of being, an either-or choice, but rather they coexist in each person. And while we can move from perfectionism toward optimalism, we never fully leave perfectionism behind and never fully reach optimalism ahead. The optimalism ideal is not a distant shore to be reached but a distant star that guides us and can never be reached. As Carl Rogers pointed out, ‘The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination”

The 80/20 Principle by Richard Koch.

“The 80/20 Principle, like the truth, can make you free. You can work less. At the same time, you can earn more and enjoy more. The only price is that you need to do some serious 80/20 thinking.”

Terry Tillman

About a year ago, I met Terry Tillman in Hawaii at the Transformational Leadership Council where he inspired me with some really amazing team building exercises.

Just a side note on Terry. He’s one of the top people in designing team building exercises for companies and organizations in the world. I even sought his advice for our MindValley team retreat and used quite a few of the exercises he showed me. If you want to know what went down in our Bali team retreat, check out this post »

Anyways, I just wanted to share this with you because I really liked Terry’s message. It was the message that he sent to his own list.

…

A 2010 Message From Terry Tillman

2010!!! Wow! We’ve already heading into the first week of another new year. Wasn’t it only last year that we were reading about all the fear-based Y2K concerns forecasting the impending year 2000 “Millennium bug”? Was that a decade ago?

When Greg asked me to post a little article here my knee-jerk reaction was, “I’m too busy, I don’t have time…” And that’s the reason why I agreed to write this. I tell others to do the thing you don’t want to do if you want to be free, and grow and learn. Move into the resistance, rather than away back to the safe, familiar, comfortable habitual behaviors. So, let’s see what shows up here…

The transition from December to January, one year to the next, the old to the new is a time when many of us review and resolve. With good intentions we acknowledge where we fell short in the past and voice good intentions, goals and objectives for the coming 12 months.

Sometime during the first week of each year my wife and I sit down together, away from any distractions and go through what’s become an annual “ritual”-we go through a process to complete the year just finished and voice intentions for the coming 12 months (There’s nothing sacred about 12 months. That’s an arbitrary time period, so we could be talking about 6 months, or two years).

This is an important time of the year, because I know that where I look is where I go. I create my reality by what I focus upon. And I’m now committing a major part of my next focus. I’m beginning an action that will determine my experience and results for the next period.

COMPLETION, AGREEMENTS & SAYING “NO”

Our first step is to acknowledge what we’re grateful for. We write this down. It’s usually four or five pages for each of us. I’ve made it a habit to look at what I have, do or am to be grateful for, daily. The end of the year list is a summary, and claiming, a receiving and acknowledging.

With an attitude of gratitude I’m automatically abundant. I have the experience of abundance and I will never need to endure the loss of any one thing (You might want to read that again).

Every agreement or promise I make and every action I’ve started that is not complete requires a little piece of my consciousness and energy, usually unconsciously. So a next step in our process is to reclaim some of that energy. We list incompletions and decide what we intend to do to complete them. We eliminate or re-chose and re-commit. Often it’s as simple as declaring completion–Just saying “It’s done”, or “I’m not going to do that .”

Much of the stress experienced in business and personal lives is the result of over committing-agreeing to do more than can be done well, thoroughly, enjoyably and in a balanced manner in the time allotted. I’ve found that if I want to have less stress, I need to learn when to say “no”. Be more selective in my choices and agreements.

If I want movement and change, if I want to start something new, I need to stop something. That means saying, “Yes” to one activity is saying “No” to others.

For example, last week I looked around my office and home and noticed that I had three books and four magazines open. I have been in the process of reading them-a couple of them I started several months, or more, ago. Those are incompletions, and broken agreements with myself (I’ll get to that in a minute). I know that I pay a big price for broken agreements, and lose energy and focus when my environment is filled with incompletes.

So what can I do? I closed two of the books and put them back on the bookshelf. I tossed a couple of the magazines in the trash, and I closed the others. Done. Complete! Energy reclaimed. Later I can choose again to read them. If I want. For now I’m choosing something else. I’m always amazed at how much better I feel after simple acts such as those. I begin to feel more in charge, more of the author(ity) in my life.

Some completions may take a little more effort and time. Some I can renegotiate (with myself, or someone else if they are involved). Basically I’m reviewing my past choices and bringing them into the present and making a new choice. Sometimes that may be the same one as in the past; sometimes it’s altogether new. After all, in some ways I’m hopefully a different person, with different information at this moment than when I originally made the choice. What would I chose now?

When I reviewed my incompletions last week I found very few projects and activities that I wanted to cancel, or say no to. That’s good news to me. That means I’m on course and have kept pretty current and present.

I did however clarify or remember what my agreements and commitments are. That’s been very helpful to me already. A couple days ago the managing director of a company I’m an advisor to and investor in asked me to get more involved in a particular operational challenge the company was having. That would have entailed more work and time commitment. With the recall of what I originally agreed to fresh in my mind, and remembering what I’m best at and enjoy, it was easy to say “no”, thank you. In the past I might have been afraid I’d upset the client, spark disapproval, be judged, or even lose the contract (and money). However, I’ve learned that the price I pay for not being true to myself, and making my choices from the inside out, is even greater.

Often in seminars I will ask the group, “Who would like greater self-esteem? More confidence? Greater self-trust? Better relationships? More energy? Consistently, in every country (94 so far) and every seminar, around 95% of the hands are raised. And then we launch into a two-hour lecturette and process.

We probably don’t have the space for all that here, so I’ll just give the bottom line–THE KEY to experiencing all of these rewards is basically, KEEP YOUR AGREEMENTS! Do what you say you are going to do.

Or, alternatively, if you are experiencing low self-esteem, lack of trust, low confidence, deteriorating relationships, low energy… look to your agreements. Chances are you’re overcommiting and/or not keeping them.

And, the reason we’re looking at this now, at the beginning of 2010, is that this is the time of the year when people make resolutions–This year I’m going to lose weight, start an exercise program, play and laugh more, risk more, travel to…, relax and pause more (work hard, rest often), take that speed reading class, spend more time with my children, write a book, eat healthier food, learn a new language… These are all agreements with our selves. And if we don’t keep them, we automatically suffer the consequences called low self-esteem, lack of trust, low confidence, deteriorating relationships, low energy. Automatically.

A part of our conscious doesn’t register if we broke the agreement just a little or a lot, or if it was a big agreement or a little one. It is binary, Yes or no? Did you do what you said you’d do or not? Did you keep your word? The process is unconscious, internally, and the consequences are automatic, whether we keep the agreement or break it. So, what to do?

TIPS TO ASSIST IN KEEPING AGREEMENTS:

1. Write down your agreements and promises. I have an agreement with myself that if it’s not written down I haven’t agreed to it. I also have a list in my Palm Pilot (soon to be transferred to my new iPhone) called, “Pretty good idea, someday maybe”. I’m curious, and active. I daily discover many things I’d like to jump into or learn more about. Some of those I don’t want to forget, so they go in my Someday Maybe list. It’s a great list, and I review it periodically. Every once in awhile I actually commit to something on the list. My best selling book was on this list for three years before I committed to writing it.
2. Learn to say “No”. You have that right, and I’d say responsibility. It’s part of being true to yourself and taking care of yourself and following your heart. I have a stress reduction seminar designed around learning to say no. It’s important, and it’s something a majority has difficulty with.
3. Renegotiate. We make agreements with the information, abilities, knowledge, skills and feelings we have at the time. As we get involved in whatever is the activity and process we gain more information, skill, knowledge and ability and thus at any future moment, if we were to make that choice again it may well be a different or modified choice. We have the right to renegotiate. To change.
4. Make agreements important. If I realize how important they are, and the consequences for breaking them and the rewards for keeping them, I find it easy to realize how important they are. And if I get they are important I will keep them.

This has gotten long. I thought I was going to discourse about intentions and methods, focusing on what rather than how and on setting goals, and how those are different from Purpose, Mission, Dreams, Visions. Some other time…

FORM & STRUCTURE

For those of you who want more form and structure, here are some questions that can guide you in your 2009 review and 2010 goal setting. When I go through these kinds of questions I like to consider my answers in several area:

• Physical
• Emotional
• Mental
• Spiritual
• Financial
• Family
• Community
• Service

Completing and Remembering 2010

What was your biggest triumph in 2009?

What was the smartest decision you made in 2009?

What one word best sums up and describes your 2009 experience?

What was the greatest lesson you learned in 2009?

What was the most loving service you performed in 2009?

What is your biggest piece of unfinished business in 2009?

What are you most happy about completing in 2009?

Who were the three people that had the greatest impact on your life in 2009?

What was the biggest risk you took in 2009?

What was the biggest surprise in 2009?

What important relationship improved the most in 2009?

What compliment would you liked to have received in 2009?

What compliment would you liked to have given in 2009?

What else do you need to do or say to be complete with 2009?

Creating 2010

What would you like to be your biggest triumph in 2010?

What advice would you like to give yourself in 2010?

What is the major effort you are planning to improve your financial results in 2010?

What would you be most happy about completing in 2010?

What major indulgence are you willing to experience in 2010?

What would you most like to change about yourself in 2010?

What are you looking forward to learning in 2010?

What do you think your biggest risk will be in 2010?

What about your work, are you most committed to changing and improving in 2010?

What is one as yet undeveloped talent you are willing to explore in 2010?

What brings you the most joy and how are you going to do or have more of that in 2010?

Who or what, other than yourself, are you most committed to loving and serving in 2010?

What one word would you like to have as your theme in 2010?

You can check out more of Terry’s work over here »

Came across this blog post of a woman who’s doing the PhilosophersNotes Challenge already. Her first day was yesterday and it’s looking pretty good.

Think of this as a sneak peak into your future if you decided to digest a new way of thinking every day.

The results are extraordinary and she even calls it her “Perfect Day”.

This is awesome stuff. If you’re looking to start your perfect day, click here to join 115 of us in the PhilosphersNotes Challenge »

A Perfect Day

By Cindi French from PlanetBi-Polar.blogspot.com

Truly it was.

The morning began with the first of our Philosophers Notes challenge. Jace and I are listening to 1 podcast daily.

The plan is over breakfast so that you start the day with a new thought.

Interesting today was a New Earth.I have the book downloaded and had planned on a chapter a day so it was auspicious that we began there. I came to the realization that what I have been unhappy with is not my life but the way I live it.

I am not being authentically me. I am not inwardly the person I appear to be outwardly and the one I hold in my head.

This only adds to my angst and increases my hyper critical thinking of myself and others. Kinda cool actually, that I got that. I don’t need to change anything about my life I just need to live it at 100%. Quit cheating.

I feel like I actually got it. Understood where the self sabotage, non compliance  comes in.

I will also be doing some work on Ego. I need a better understanding of it as this is what creates anxiety and fear, my mortal enemies,

Haaaa and that was just breakfast.

So with that came the reason I had to hit the gym. I said I was to burn 2200 cal a day and I will not do it sitting on a stool in the kitchen. Now that I understand why I want to do it , doing it becomes much simpler.

I also got the mail and opened it up. No more creating room for fear. DWT.

After lunch I bundled up and walked to get some tasks done. I met a new PT and will start work on repairing my ankle tomorrow.

I walked to the library and picked up new books. I have decided only 3 at a time. Its a great way to burn calories having that walk to do more than once a week. I took the long way home and wandered thru the Bay. I reminded myself I was in no hurry and movement was what I was after.

Picked up some groceries and came home.

Reviewed some client stuff.

I also made some decisions about my diet. I had walked for 2 hours in –20 and wanted hot soup.

I chose the brand carefully watching the ingredient and calories.

I have to learn not to hang on so tight. I stayed within my guidelines but allowed myself to have something I wanted. Progress.

Did my day 4 of Yoga and really worked on being mindful. Its going to be a great place to practice it daily no matter what else happens in that day.

When I returned from Yoga I synced my armband and for the first time had hit all the goals I had set.

I burned 2300w/goal 2200

a 1350– cal defecit

walked 17863 steps w/goal of 15000

2:45 min of physical activity w/goal of 1:50.

All by simply focusing on being present.

It was, a perfect day.

Thanks for posting this Cindi.

Turn a perfect day into a perfect year. Join us in the PhilosophersNotes challenge »

No, it’s not a long list of resolutions and it’s not waiting for spring either.

But, YES, definitely make a list of accomplishments you want under your belt in 2010. It’s just how you finish your goals that’s different from the typical brute-force, sheer willpower New Year’s resolutions that most people make.

Instead, check out this video from Brian Johnson of PhilosophersNotes below and let 2010 be a year of success and play.

It involves INTENTION, rituals, and just letting the outcomes take care of themselves. Awesome video and a fun way to live your greatest life.

(And Yes, this is the same Brian behind PhilosophersNotes.com)

Start your year off awesome. Click here to join us in the PhilosophersNotes Challenge »

]]> http://daily.finerminds.com/mind/brian-johnson-goal-setting-2010/feed/ 37 http://daily.finerminds.com/mind/62-ways-to-make-2010-your-best-new-year-yet-from-robin-sharma/ http://daily.finerminds.com/mind/62-ways-to-make-2010-your-best-new-year-yet-from-robin-sharma/#comments Mon, 04 Jan 2010 11:41:08 +0000 Vishen Lakhiani http://daily.finerminds.com/?p=6568

I love Robin Sharma’s book The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. It was handed to me by a friend and we made it part of the office library. Pretty soon, others fell in love with that book as well and our office book collection grew to include some of Sharma’s other works like “The Greatness Guide”.

I met Sharma in person twice. Once was when I was speaking at an event in Hawaii called the “Transformation Leadership Forum”. We went out for sushi and ended up having an awesome night discussing philosophy and our lives and the paths that lead us to where we are today. And a few months later when Robin was in Asia on a speaking engagement he stopped by our office to say hi. It’s not everyday that such a well known author stops by our office just to say hi and sign autographs. But Robin did — and our team at MindValley are solid fans!

So I wanted to share this with you today. It’s Robin Sharma’s list of his Goals for 2010. Funny, inspiring and definitely worth looking at. I’m starting on #11 tonight.

62 Ways To Make 2010 Your Best New Year Yet

By Robin Sharma, January 3rd, 2010

1. Remember that leadership isn’t about your position. It’s about your influence.

2. Get fit like a pro athlete

3. Lift people up versus tearing people down

4. Protect your good name. An impeccable reputation takes a lifetime to build. And 60 seconds to lose

5. Surround yourself with positive, ethical people who are committed to excellence

6. Remember that even a 1% daily innovation rate amounts to at least a 100% rate of innovation in 100 days

7. Believe in your dreams (even when others laugh at them)

8. Measure your success, not by your net worth but by your self worth (and how happy you feel)

9. Take an intelligent risk every 24 hours. No try-No Win.

10. Read “Buffett: The Making of an American Capitalist”

11. Watch “Man on Wire”

12. Regardless of your title at work, be a team builder.

13. Remember that business is all about relationships and human connections

14. Say “please” more

15. Say “thank you” more

16. Know your Big 5: the five things that need to happen by the end of this year for you to feel it’s been your best year yet

17. Read your Big 5 every morning while the rest of the world is asleep

18. Read “As You Think”. At least twice this year.

19. Be willing to fail. It’s the price of greatness

20. Focus less on making money and more on creating value

21. Spend less, save more

22. Leave everything you touch better than you found it

23. Be the most positive person in every room you’re in

24. Run your own race

24. Stay true to your deepest values and best ideals

25. Write a handwritten thank you note to a customer/friend/loved one every day

26. When you travel, send love letters to your kids on hotel stationary. In time, they’ll have a rich collection to remember your travels by

27. Read “Atlas Shrugged”

28. Be a problem solver versus a trouble maker

29. Rather than doing many things at mediocrity do just a few things-but at mastery

30. Honor your parents

31. Commit to doing great work-whether anyone notices it or not. It’s one of life’s best sources of happiness.

32. Give more than you receive (another of the truths of happiness)

33. Have your 1/3/5/10/25 years goals recorded on paper and review them weekly

34. Be patient. Slow and steady wins the race. The only reason businesses that went from zero to a billion in a year or two get featured in magazines is because 99% of businesses require a lot more time to win

34. Underpromise and then overdeliver

35. See part of your job as “a developer of people” (whether you work in the boardroom or the mailroom)

36. Wear your heart on your sleeve. When people see you’re real, they’ll fall in love with you

37. Be authentic versus plastic

38. Read “The Alchemist”

39. Remember that life wants you to win. So get out of your own way

40. Consider that behind every fear lives your next level of growth (and power)

41. Eat less food

42. Drink more water

43. Rest when you need to

44. Read “SUCCESS” magazine

45. Write your eulogy and them live your life backwards

46. Demand the best from yourself

47. Remember that the more you go to your limits, the more your limits will expand

48. See everything that happens to you as an opportunity to grow (and therefore, as a precious gift)

49. Be obsessed with learning and self-development

50. Become comfortable alone (you are the only person you get to be with your whole life)

51. Smile. It’s a stunningly effective way to win in business and life

52. Reflect on the shortness of life

53. Be bold when it comes to your dreams but gentle with those you love

54. Remember that success is dangerous because it can kill drive/innovation/passion and going the extra mile. Be successful yet stay hungry

55. Read “The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin”

56. Be of deep value to this world

57. Own beautiful things but don’t let them own you

58. Use excellent words.

59. Laugh more.

60. Don’t complain, gossip or be negative.

61. Plan as if you’ll live forever but live as if you’ll die tomorrow.

62. Feel free to pass these lessons on to those you want to help.

For more on Robin Sharman, visit his website RobinSharma.com »

Why? Because according to several studies in the field of will power and New Year’s resolutions, it appears that the more you try to change, the less permanent change there will be.

So surprise, surprise. Humans don’t have the best willpower. Turns out, when we overload our brains with stress and goals, we’re way less likely to follow through on a new habit, lose weight, or quit smoking. When it comes to getting rid of bad habits and creating new habits, it appears that doing one thing at a time is best.

I really recommend reading this article. Even if you’re not planning to go into 2010 with a resolution,  everyone should understand how their minds work. Especially when it comes to personal development and being the best you. The studies alone are worth reading about (some interesting stuff about food, eating, and will power).

And for those who’re planning on losing weight, there’s some really interesting facts and tips in here.

Personally, I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions. My philosophy is, if you have a new practice or goal you want to start working on, why the heck would you wait for the new year? Get started now.

Blame It on the Brain

By Jonah Lehrer

The latest neuroscience research suggests spreading resolutions out over time is the best approach

Willpower, like a bicep, can only exert itself so long before it gives out; it’s an extremely limited mental resource.

Given its limitations, New Year’s resolutions are exactly the wrong way to change our behavior. It makes no sense to try to quit smoking and lose weight at the same time, or to clean the apartment and give up wine in the same month. Instead, we should respect the feebleness of self-control, and spread our resolutions out over the entire year. Human routines are stubborn things, which helps explain why 88% of all resolutions end in failure, according to a 2007 survey of over 3,000 people conducted by the British psychologist Richard Wiseman. Bad habits are hard to break—and they’re impossible to break if we try to break them all at once.

Some simple tricks can help. The first step is self-awareness: The only way to fix willpower flaws is to know about them. Only then can the right mental muscles get strengthened, making it easier to succeed at our annual ritual of self-improvement.

The brain area largely responsible for willpower, the prefrontal cortex, is located just behind the forehead. While this bit of tissue has greatly expanded during human evolution, it probably hasn’t expanded enough. That’s because the prefrontal cortex has many other things to worry about besides New Year’s resolutions. For instance, scientists have discovered that this chunk of cortex is also in charge of keeping us focused, handling short-term memory and solving abstract problems. Asking it to lose weight is often asking it to do one thing too many.

In one experiment, led by Baba Shiv at Stanford University, several dozen undergraduates were divided into two groups. One group was given a two-digit number to remember, while the second group was given a seven-digit number. Then they were told to walk down the hall, where they were presented with two different snack options: a slice of chocolate cake or a bowl of fruit salad.

Here’s where the results get weird. The students with seven digits to remember were nearly twice as likely to choose the cake as students given two digits. The reason, according to Prof. Shiv, is that those extra numbers took up valuable space in the brain—they were a “cognitive load”—making it that much harder to resist a decadent dessert. In other words, willpower is so weak, and the prefrontal cortex is so overtaxed, that all it takes is five extra bits of information before the brain starts to give in to temptation.

This helps explain why, after a long day at the office, we’re more likely to indulge in a pint of ice cream, or eat one too many slices of leftover pizza. (In fact, one study by researchers at the University of Michigan found that just walking down a crowded city street was enough to reduce measures of self-control, as all the stimuli stressed out the cortex.) A tired brain, preoccupied with its problems, is going to struggle to resist what it wants, even when what it wants isn’t what we need.

Click to continue reading »

They’re such massive words and carry such meaning but we use them as if they’re salt and pepper.

Well, maybe that’s the way it should be. Perhaps people have built up passion and purpose to such high levels that no one can attain them. They’ve been put on a pedestal where no one can reach.

It’s just a viewpoint I’d like to share. Check out this article below for a more in depth discussion on this. And please leave a comment with your thoughts.

If you think you haven’t found your passion…

By Derek Sivers

A few times, I’ve been asked a question like, “But what if I haven’t found my true passion?”

It’s dangerous to think in terms of “passion” and “purpose” because they sound like such huge overwhelming things.

If you think love needs to look like “Romeo and Juliet”, you’ll overlook a great relationship that grows slowly.

If you think you haven’t found your passion yet, you’re probably expecting it to be overwhelming.

Instead, just notice what excites you and what scares you on a small moment-to-moment level.

If you find yourself diving into a book about Photoshop and playing around with the program for hours, go for it! Dive in deeper. Maybe that’s your new calling.

Click here to continue reading »

Check out this article below as the author deals with this new wave of anti-positivity.

In my opinion, I think there’s a huge difference between wishful thinking and positive thinking and people sometimes mix up the two.

But what’re your opinions? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the whole concept of positive thinking and it’s impact on humanity as a whole. Drop a comment and pitch in your 2 cents.

Could You Just Get Over Your Negativity About Positive Focus?

By Russell Bishop from the Huffington Post

What is it about those Huff Post readers who seem to get all negative about the suggestion that having a positive focus just might help? I mean, really.

The demographics tell us that our readers are highly educated, and presumably intelligent, and yet I keep getting the most cynical replies from people who seem to keep missing the point.

(If you are just now joining this conversation, you might want to click on these links to some recent articles that will help set the context. This one asks you to consider what you want out of life, really. And this one asks are you doomed by your circumstances? And this one looks at the growing prevalence of people blaming society for the ills of the world.

So let’s tackle this head on.

What’s the Problem With Positive Thinking?

I certainly understand what the problem would be if the only recommendations were some kind of denial form of thinking. “Geez, isn’t racism great? How about that loss of life? Don’t you just love the recession?”

Who on earth could possibly believe that the point of these articles is even remotely related to this kind of ridiculous sentiment, and yet read some examples of what some readers have sent:

From an editor (yes, an editor!) of a significant western newspaper:

“You bring up many valuable points about the different ways we sabotage ourselves from getting what we want, but please know that, amidst the biggest economic collapse in 80 years, rising unemployment and two wars further sapping our resources, that NO ONE, not even the most puerile person, is going to believe that all they need to do to make a better world for themselves is to change their minds. Furthermore, this kind of subtext to your main theme in making one’s life better is insulting and unnecessary. These problems are real and they affect people’s lives daily.

If my goal in life is to live in a world without racism, for example, don’t pretend the phenomenon doesn’t exist in deeply embedded social and historical contexts. If your goal is to disguise these contexts, you should also know that we are onto you and yours. And in that case, good day and good luck on the ol’ snake oil circuit.”

And another wrote to say:

“We have been ruined as a nation by “the power of positive thinking”. Your answers are simplistic and really don’t apply to everyday living. People need to have a source of income in order to be able to have a roof over their heads and food on their tables. I don’t think you address this very well at all.”

Can you believe this? Are you kidding me? Ruined by positive thinking? Creating a positive focus and taking positive action is somehow “simplistic?” Pretend that racism doesn’t exist?

Click to continue reading »