From PhilosophersNotes and Gay and Kathy Hendricks, a gift to FinerMinds Readers.

Remember the first time you fell in love? Or your first kiss? Well, if you’re like most people then you were probably excited, thrilled, and maybe even a little confused.

Yes, love can be a confusing thing. Even for grown adults, it’s still a bizarre subject. But don’t fret!

Gay and Katie Hendricks are here to help. And Brian’s here to make it easier. He’s giving away the PhilosophersNotes on Gay and Katie Hendricks for free, just for FinerMinds peeps.

Just click here to download it » No sign up necessary.

Sean with my wife, Kristina, and me

This is a long time due. A while back we posted Part 1 and Part 2 of Sean’s video series on Creating A Deep Attraction. They were amazing, fun, humorous, videos of Sean Stephenson at my company’s Bali retreat in 2008 and are all about creating a deep attraction, finding and keeping a great relationship, and love. And finally, we’re releasing the 3rd and final part in the series.

The response we got from the videos was amazing. If you haven’t seen Parts 1 or 2 yet, here are the links to the blog posts. I really wish I had known this kind of wisdom back in high school

Creating A Deep Attraction Part 1 »

Creating A Deep Attraction Part 2 »

And if you don’t know him yet, Sean’s a great friend of mine, an amazing speaker, an inspiration, and a breaker of all stereotypes. He’s only 3 feet tall, was born with a major bone condition, and still has managed to do more in his 30 odd years than most people do in their entire lives. He’s also got an awesome personal blog called Living At Cause.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Sean’s a magnet. There really is something about his energy. Just check out the vids below and you’ll know what I mean.

In this third and last part of the Creating A Deep Attraction series, Sean’s going to talk about the #1 killer of relationships. I won’t give it away but it starts with an N. Sean also goes into detail about the #1 Attractor of love too. This is really important!

You’ll laugh when you watch these videos but behind the jokes and laughter, there’s some serious weight to what he’s saying.

The #1 Killer And Attractor Of Love

Ever wondered why some guys get all the ladies or why some people just always seem to have good, beautiful, loving relationships? Wonder no more. Your answers are just a few videos away

Sean’s got an awesome personal blog up with great content. You can check it out here » It’s called Living At Cause.

And if you’ve got any thoughts or opinions on this, please drop a comment. Can’t wait to read them!

She’s not your average personal growth and spirituality enthusiast. Far from it. She’s Harvard-educated in mysticism and comparative religion and has spent the last 12 years traveling and studying spirituality. From whirling Dervishes to meeting the Dalai Lama on her 21st birthday, this girl has seen and experienced A LOT.

She’s also written a pretty daring book titled The Red Book: A Deliciously Unorthodox Approach To Igniting Your Divine Spark.

But without further ado, here’s her article linking orgasms to world peace. Whatever your thoughts, I want you to drop a comment. We’ve never put up anything like this on FinerMinds before so it’d be great to get your opinions, feelings, and thoughts on the subject matter

Ecstatic Activism

By Sera Beak

Do you know having mind-blowing orgasms can create world peace? It’s true. I call it “ecstatic activism”. Practicing ecstatic activism means fully and consciously engaging in those activities (like healthy sex) that fill our bodies, hearts and souls with such joy, pleasure, love, passion and, you got it – ecstasy that these extraordinary qualities we’re embodying can’t help but spill out of us into the world to bless all beings.

Enlightenment In Bed

In other words, practicing ecstatic activism means that you can meditate and you can masturbate to bring enlightenment — and doing both at the same time is the ultimate Big Bang. You can enjoy carnal, steamy, libidinous fun with a loving partner and with intention and an open heart, make it your daily prayer. You can dedicate the positive energy you experience while pleasuring yourself or a partner, especially any high-voltage orgasms, to helping heal a particular cause (poverty, environmental destruction, physical abuse), or to a place that could sure use some divine love (Rwanda, Iraq, Haiti, the Vatican).

Creating Spiritual Sex

So what exactly makes an ordinary romp spiritually extraordinary? Your intention.

Here’s some suggestions: When you pick up a vibrator, or when you caress your skin, or when you invite your partner to play, pause for just a moment, take a deep breath and come into the present moment, connect with your heart, and set your intention to experience as much pleasure as possible and as much divinity as possible. And understand that it’s not just about allowing yourself to feel pleasure, it’s also about allowing the Universe to feel pleasure, ecstasy, bliss through you, as you.

Whoa! Imagine that! Set your intent to free yourself — and this planet, too — from whatever might be blocking the full release of this delicious divine mojo…and the let ‘er rip.

In short, ecstatic activism is pleasure with a purpose, sexuality with soul, when making love becomes an integral act of community service. Now that’s something to sign up for!

Check out more of Sera’s Articles Here »

…

Thoughts, feelings, rants or raves? Drop a comment and let the community know what you think.

Sean with Vishen and Mike

Alright, it’s finally up! Sean Stephenson’s second part of Making Love, Not War – How To Create A Deep Attraction.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Sean is a magnet. He draws people in like moths to a flame. It’s nothing weird or voodoo-esque. It’s just because of his immense compassion and how he treats each person with the utmost respect. You can literally feel his vibe from the videos.

In this part, Sean will be going over the The Ultimate 2 Needs And Wants Of Men And Women.

Before you say, “Only 2 needs?” remember, Sean has been through it all and then some.

So here is Sean’s long awaited second part on creating a deep attraction. And this time, it’s all about what men and women want. You’ll be surprised at what these 2 needs are. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized how true everything he said was.

Things might get a little naughty, so viewers be warned .

Oh, and if you missed the first part of this series, no worries, it’s right here » And if you’re already wanting the 3rd and last part, don’t fret, it’s right here »

For those who don’t know, Sean’s also got his own personal blog that’s coming up soon. You can get more info on it over here »

So enjoy:

The Ultimate 3 Needs And Wants Of Men And Women

Segment 1

Click here to view the embedded video.

Segment 2

Click here to view the embedded video.

Segment 3

Click here to view the embedded video.

I just have one question for you after you watch this video. How have these 2 much needed characteristics played a part in your life? I want to know your honest opinions so feel free to drop a comment and let loose.

And don’t forget, if you want more info on Sean’s new blog and you’re interested in getting early notification, just check out this page »

Cheers,

Vishen

P.S. Look out for Sean’s last part of Making Love, Not War in a week or so. He’s going to reveal the biggest killer of attraction and the number 1 builder of attraction!

I started finding out about how to have great relationships and sex when I was in elementary school.  Not that I had sex then, but I found out how boys and men thought, and how they operated, and what they wanted, how they interpreted their surroundings, and what they liked (which all later led to some really great relationships and some really great sex), but then that’s another story!

What I really want to talk about is this:

Men And Women Are Not Made The Same

When communication and expectations are based on the assumption that men and women are the same – that they have the same mind-sets, values and interpretations – then we end up down the road of frustration and anger and upset. And our relationships fall apart.

Men and women are not the same. And when we start to understand the beauty and the humor in the differences between men and women, a whole new world of possibility opens up in how we relate to each other, how we create our relationships, how we
experience sex, and how love and fulfillment can grow even deeper through time.

So here are some ‘Basics’ – like “Relationships 101”.

First you have to understand the Nature of Men and Women », and some of their Innate Qualities…

The Nature Of Men And Women

Women are the attractors and men are the responders. Women “call”; men “respond”. That’s their ‘nature’. Her nature is to create things by being attracting.  His nature is to create things by producing.

Women – The Attractors

The essence of a woman is what is attractive. It is the ability of a woman to attract – seduction in the best sense of the word – that allows others and opportunities to be drawn to her. A woman needs to learn to get in touch with her nature of attraction, and when she does, she will be able to have anything and anyone she wants.

Being competent to connect with that essence, allows resources and people to be drawn to her.   She is the seductress; she is the goddess.  She births and creates and brings things into existence.

Men – The Producers

The nature of the man is to be a performer, a provider, and a producer.  His nature is to bring it home, get it done, make sure it happens, fix it, find it, deliver it, solve it, and produce it. Men want to please their women.  A man is a responder to a call, not usually a caller himself.

A man has an antenna and listens for what is being wanted, what is being asked of him, where he can perform, where he can provide and responds to that call. Men are providers.  Men are performers.

The catch here, of course is that women don’t usually know what they want, and they keep changing their minds; so sometimes it is very difficult for a guy to please her.  And then she usually blames him for not knowing, as she expects him to be able to read her mind.

The Innate Qualities Of Men And Women

Now it is time to discuss the innate qualities of men and women. Men are a little slow, simple (not complicated), and are the ones that can be bigoted. Women are fast and inclusive, but they can also be mean, petty and ‘bitchy’.

The Female and Male Nature

A woman by nature is multi-faceted and is able to multi-task – do more than one thing at a time. She can move from one side of the brain to the other with ease and speed. She thinks, she feels, she acts and she uses her intuition quickly and with variety and subtlety and all at the same time.

A man takes longer to move from left-brain to right brain and back again. This is important to understand as each side of the brain allows action in different realms.  One side of the brain is needed to do analyzing and detail work; and the other side of the brain is needed to do “conceptual tasks” like feeling and being empathetic.

A woman goes back and forth between these different worlds very quickly; a man needs time to jump from one to the other. When a woman assumes a man can do it the way she is able to do it; then she will be impatient with him, because he is slower than she is, and she may even interpret his actions as resistance or non-caring.

What Men And Women Need To Learn

Women overuse ‘bitchiness’. Being a bitch is an ‘asset’ that women have; but they should use the asset sparingly, or not at all.  A man should know that it is possible for a woman to get bitchy, but not have to experience that unless it is absolutely necessary.

Men move when they are ‘winning’.  They are paralyzed when they are ‘losing’. Anytime a woman is unhappy a man feels he is losing, and then he can’t move.  Being a ‘bitch’ is exactly the opposite thing to do if a woman wants a man to get something done.

A man feels he is ‘losing’ when his woman is unhappy. If she wants him to do things for her, she needs to be nice and fun, she needs to tell him often what he is doing right, and what she loves about him.  This will allow him to move. Women need to learn how to be nice and fun more of the time, instead of mean and petty.

Understanding The Underlying Fears That Motivate Men And Women

Now that you understand the nature and innate behaviors of men and women », and what some of the differences are, you will now be able to understand the underlying fears that motivate men and women. These fears drive their actions; and when you understand the fears you can start to alleviate them for each other.

A Woman’s Fear: Attraction

A woman’s fear is that she is not attractive enough. A woman is afraid that something else (or someone else) will be able to attract her man more than she can. That is why a woman gets upset if a man spends too much time at work (or if he glances at another woman).

It’s not that she wants him to be around more — even though that may be what she says.  I mean let’s face it — a woman can get more done when a man is out of the house! It’s that she thinks, at some deep unconscious level, that he is more attracted by work (or the other woman) than he is by her, and it is upsetting to her.

If the man would call from work, and tell her how much he is thinking about her, and that he can’t wait to get home, then her complaining would stop, as she would feel that he is attracted first to her, above all else. Once a man understands this, he will be able to alleviate this fear in her.

A Man’s Fear: Failure

A man’s fear is that he won’t succeed. In fact the reason a man takes a bit of time to start any project, is that he has a deep seeded unconscious fear that he won’t be able to deliver.  A woman needs to tell her man that she believes in him. She needs to understand he has a fear that he might not succeed, and to let him know she believes he can, and that he will.  When a man knows his woman believes he can do it, he can do anything.

However a woman usually gets impatient that it takes a man so long to start, that she just goes and does it herself. She is taking away his job of being the producer. She is taking away his longing to be able to please her.

Don’t do it for him – give him the courage to do it himself, and make it fun for him while you are asking for it. Appreciation, acknowledgment and understanding will keep him in a state of being able to act.

EVIDENCE

Here are two true stories that validate my point.

Say It With Flowers…

A man shared in one of my relationship workshops and said,  “I suddenly see why my wife and I divorced, after 25 years. She was a bitch for 23 of them, but I finally got it.  I wasn’t having any fun.”

You see, girls, they stick in there with you for the longest time.

He said “You know what happened, you know what did it?  My wife said one day how much she loved flowers and it would be nice to have flowers around the house all the time.  So I figured it would be better if I got her plastic roses.”

You see this makes sense to a guy.  He wants to please you. Plastic flowers are going to last longer.  It’s a literal thing.  He couldn’t understand why she got mad. He brought his love flowers that were going to last forever.  And sadly, she screamed and yelled at him and told him he was very insensitive and threw them in the garbage pail, and that was finally the end of a marriage.

A White Christmas…

Here’s another example, funny but true. For months a woman says to her husband, “Honey, wouldn’t it be great to have snow at Christmas?”  They lived in Florida.  Now her idea was she was giving him a hint to take her to a ski lodge. Of course any woman reading this would know that.  You know what he did?  He’s so cute.  He went and got a dump truck, and he had it filled with snow and he had it put on the lawn for Christmas.  And he didn’t understand why she was so upset.  He thought he was showing his love for her.

Can The Battle Of The Sexes Finally End?

So you could almost say that men and women are two entirely different species of human beings.
Is there hope for these two species to co-habitate and communicate?  Of course.  It is a deep-seated understanding of our differences that helps us to see the humor and the beauty in them.  It allows us to bring out the best in each other, and to create deep and lasting and fulfilling relationships.

To download an exclusive interview with Marcia Martin on how to attract and manifest your ideal partner for a spiritual and passionate relationship, click here »

P.S. Find out how to bring your negative automatic behavior under control and into your consciousness to prevent yourself from hurting those you love.

So not only does Sting perform up to 8 hours of tantric sex, it appears Heather Graham is also on that same track. I wonder what other celebrities are onto this.

While Tantric sex is going great for Heather, she’s yet to achieve levitation, which is her next goal. But her biggest goal, and I will definitely applaud her on this one if she accomplishes it, is to fly above cities and save people like a superhero.

For more on this story, check out the article below from the Huffington Post.

Heather Graham: Tantric Sex ‘Works For Me’

Heather Graham and Sting have something in common.

While promoting her small role in “The Hangover,” Graham told a UK paper how she enjoys tantric sex. Graham is currently dating director Yaniv Raz.

She told the Daily Mail of tantric sex:

I first got into it when I was filming The Guru in 2002 and I haven’t looked back. What most people know about tantric sex is that Sting does it and it lasts eight hours. But he’s not having sex continually. You can take a bath, massage your partner, listen to music. The idea is that you let the whole thing build very slowly until finally you merge with your partner. It works for me.

What’s not working for her is levitation, although Graham claims she has a goal to do that:

Click here to read the rest of the article »

Image courtesy of http://www.flickr.com/photos/tyliner/ / CC BY-SA 2.0

While we go about our daily business, the thought of sex and love invariably float through our minds, either as a fantasy or as a deeper internal discussion. That is why I think it is so important to spend some time and actually analyze our love lives. Especially in relation to sex, time, and spirituality.

The 3 articles below are for everyone, regardless of what stage your love life is in right now. Give them a read through and please share your insights with the community. We’d love to hear from you.

Sex: Let’s Get Intimate

An awesome article delving into the world of quality sex, NOT quantity. It shares the 4 Keys to Better Sex by Kali Munro, a individual and couples therapist.

Are You Making Enough Time for Your Relationship?

Your relationship cannot possibly grow without time spent together. And I mean real bonding time. In this article, clinical psychologist Willard F. Harley, Jr. discusses the THREE PARTS to The Policy of Undivided Attention, which will ultimately reignite the spark in your love life and help couples grow closer.

Sex and Religion: One Pastor Encourages His Congregation to Have More Nookie

As hard as it is to talk about sex, imagine talking about it in church. Here’s a great read as to to why couples need to have more sex and how this act alone can bring you closer to God.

Sound intense? It should be and it can be.

The first step to getting there is with the 3 Passion Pledges, which have been developed by Burt Goldman or better known as the American Monk. Now keep in mind that these exclusive tips have only been released to Burt Goldman’s list and are part of his recently released, highly anticipated Enlightened Sexuality program.  This program combines the growth and self discovery that comes with spirituality with the intimacy, pleasure, and intensity of sex.

For anyone seeking the power of love, it’s a must have. If you’re in a long term relationship and you’re looking to bring back the desire or rekindle the flame so to speak, it’s for you. But if you’re single, it’s just as amazing. Learn to pinpoint and manifest what it is that you need in your love life.

So without further ado, here are the 3 Passion Pledges.

The 3 Passion Pledges

by Burt Goldman

These 3 Passion Pledges have helped a number of my close friends improve their relationship by leaps and bounds, and I’m sure it’ll do the same for you. All you have to do is complete 3 simple tasks over the next 3 days. Don’t worry, they won’t be too hard. I’m not going to ask you to rent an airplane and paint your lover’s name across the sky.

Pledge 1

So let’s get started. Pledge number one is oh-so-easy, but when done right will undoubtedly put a grateful smile on your partner’s face…

The Mindfulness Exercise

First, spend 5 minutes thinking about what challenges your partner faces in his or her life.

Do they have a stressful job? Do they have to go through heavy traffic, or a busy commute every day? Are they constantly bogged down with house chores?

Kids?

Health issues?

Once you’ve identified these challenges, pick one (preferably the one they seem bothered about most), and talk to them about it.

Don’t overcomplicate things. All you have to do is find an appropriate time, when he or she is relaxed, look into your partners eyes (and I mean really look into their eyes) and start the conversation with a simple statement.

A statement like “It must be tiring for you to travel that distance every single day.” Or “The kids sure can be a handful sometimes, eh?”

Trust me. Even if it’s a plain statement about a daily occurrence, they’ll appreciate the fact that you noticed.

The next step is LISTEN. They will most likely open up about the issue, and this is where empathy comes into play.

Be supportive. Listen to what they’re saying, and offer solutions or suggestions whenever possible.

Make sure they realize that you know where they’re coming from. If the challenge they’re facing stems from a fault of their own, gently offer advice. Nobody likes to be talked down to.

And what do you do if they don’t open up about the issue? Just tell them you understand what they’re going through, and that you’re willing to help them if they need it. At the very least that’ll give them some food for thought.

And that’s all there is to it! Like I said, this is an essential step to take before you start using my upcoming program, so I sincerely hope you’ll give it a try. It’s so simple that if you can’t commit to this, I can safely say you are NOT committed to having a passionate and intimate relationship.

Pledge 2

So now that we’re done with Passion Pledge number one, we’ll move on to the second one. And this one is perhaps even simpler than the first.

The Compliment Exercise

Think about something you could say to your partner that would make them know you love, admire and appreciate them.

It could be a physical complement. For example, you could tell them you’ve always loved the way their eyes sparkle when they smile. Or how even after all these years, their legs are still as sexy as ever.

It could also be a complement on their talents or abilities. If they cook, you could remind them you absolutely love the food they make. If they work in an office, you could tell them you admire the dedication it must take to get all that work done in one day.

The more specific you are with your complement, the better.

Don’t say something that could come across as insincere. Your complement should be about your partner as a person, so instead of saying *“Nice shoes honey,” you could say *“I love your taste in shoes. You know exactly what to pick to make yourself look even more gorgeous.”

A complement works best when your partner is relaxed. Try this exercise at a time when both of you are at ease, which could be during breakfast, during a night out, or even when you’re getting ready for bed.

All you have to do is get their attention, look into their eyes, and most importantly, say it like you mean it.

Who knows, your partner might give you a nice reward for it

Pledge 3

Now we are at the third and final Passion Pledge. But before we begin, did you commit to the first two? What sort of results did you get?

The third Passion Pledge is perhaps the most powerful. And it may also be the most challenging.

The Intimacy Exercise

This may be something you’re not used to. And if that’s the case, trust me–you must get used to it, because it’s an irreplaceable ingredient to a lifetime of intimacy and passion.

Now here’s what you do:

Talk to your partner about your sex life. Don’t beat around the bush, don’t cover it up with analogies, and get ready to be as honest and open as possible.

Ask them if they’ve been enjoying it.

Ask them if there’s anything they think could make it better.

Ask them if they’d like to do it more often.

Listen to their answers, and give your own opinions. Be honest, but remember to be sensitive to their feelings. Refrain from talking in an accusatory tone.

Remember, you love each other. You’re a team, and you’re doing this to make each other happier, more fulfilled individuals.

If there’s a problem, talk about how you can work together to fix it.

If there’s no problem, talk about how you can make things even better.

The solution may not always be immediately visible, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t one.

When two people are willing to give their all, there will always be a solution.

Being open with one another is an important first step to regaining a passionate relationship.

The next step, which I guarantee will energize your relationship with endless passion and intimacy, is coming soon. You’ll discover it once you start my program, Enlightened Sexuality.

Set your relationship on fire »

I’m not talking about a one night stand. No, far from it.  I’m talking about a long, sustainable, passion filled relationship. People who divorce just because their “relationship had gone cold” fail to account for the spiritual side of their relationsip.

Sex can be a very spiritual experience. Here is a great reminder of how spiritually powerful a sexual experience can be.

“Sex And Spirituality

“Sex is about sharing and exchanging energies that originate more from our souls than just our heads or our genitals. It is about uniting our longing for wholeness and connection, yearnings that are naturally sacred and spiritual.”  (Spirituality World)

Sex and spirituality. An odd combination.

Originally when I would think about sex I would think of raw passion or slow lovemaking. I’d never considered that it could be spiritual as well. Not when I was young.

But the greatest answer to passion I’ve learned is to include your spirituality. This is the true meaning of intimacy.

It’s flesh and flesh and soul and soul. It’s a deep union that cannot be mimicked. It’s a union of flesh and spirit.

In this case your sexual desire is sacred.

Sex is filled with energy. Not your typical energy but energy that comes from within. It’s life’s breath inside your body.

Click here to read more »

You look as you feel.  We’ve been told this before and whether we like it or not we often wear our hearts on our sleeves.  Our emotions and thoughts dictate our behavior and how we appear to others.

In David Deida’s book, Blue Truth, he explores purpose, passion and love.  This excerpt from Blue Truth gives insight into how we can control our outward appearance and state of mind by giving into our deepest feelings of love.

“When you consistently open as love, you begin to look like love.”

Deida’s powerful visualizations and reflections are both inspiring and pertinent to our well-being.  His insights give hope to those who have been through emotional pain and suffering.  We do not have to fall prey to our set backs, grief, and hurt.  Instead, we can focus our attention on the deepest part of our heart and “attending to its openness, compassion, and care” we will overcome our negativity.

Have a look at this beautifully written passage and share your opinions with us.

Click Here To View The Article.