Robert I. Sutton, Stanford business professor, has a favorite word for the people we call bullies, creeps, egomaniacs, tormentors, or weasels. He likes ‘asshole’. For him, it best captures the fear and loathing he has for these people.

The man even has a test for spotting whether a person is acting like an asshole:

Test One: After talking to the alleged asshole, does the ‘target’ feel oppressed, humiliated, de-energized, or belittled by the person? In particular, does the target feel worse about him or herself?

Test Two: Does the alleged asshole aim his or her venom at people who are less powerful rather than at those people who are more powerful?

Chances are you know someone—or many people, if you’re unfortunate—who take pleasure in demeaning those around them, especially those less powerful. They’re no fun, especially at work. Sutton’s book, The No Asshole Rule, is an in-depth look at the ‘asshole’ problem in the workplace.

He rightly points out that people who insult and belittle in a loud and dramatic manner are much easier to spot. It’s the wily, two-faced backstabbers that are more difficult to stop.

This variety of asshole is smarter because they save their dirty work for moments when they can’t get caught. Or they do it in such a subtle and continuous way that it’s difficult to pin down and out their negative behavior. But whether loud or sneaky, both do the same amount of damage.

So, what exactly are the downsides of a workplace riddled with assholes?

According to numerous studies from the US, Europe, Australia, and Asia, a work environment that maintains this sort of behavior results in:

• Increased staff turnover
• Reduced work and life satisfaction
• Reduced commitment to the organization
• Reduced productivity
• Difficulty concentrating at work
• Heightened depression, anxiety and burnout
• Chronic fatigue
• Absenteeism

The impact is utterly devastating because assholes drain people of their energy and esteem. Consider that recent research shows that nasty interactions have five times the impact of a single positive one. The negative feelings leftover after an asshole encounter are enough to put anyone in a sour mood.

And there are other BIG problems:

1. Goodbye talent. The best aren’t going to stick around. Simply put, highly talented people don’t want to waste their time in a negative work environment. They’ve got better things to do and they know it.
2. "It wasn’t me." The hallmark of an organization where swarms of assholes run rampant is that they’re permeated with fear, loathing and retaliation. In a fear-based workplace, employees constantly look over their shoulder trying to avoid the finger of blame. It becomes a culture of finger pointing, rather than trying to solve problems collaboratively. Energy is directed towards protecting oneself, not protecting or moving the organization forward.
3. It’s going to cost you. Your resident asshole might be your top salesperson, but he or she is still going to cost you. Bottom line, they cost organizations money. Think about the time their managers spend ‘cleaning up’ after them, as well as the time spent by HR professionals and senior executives. There is the cost of recruiting and training new staff, and potentially even the legal costs for inside and outside counsel, if a situation erupts

For an Olympic athlete, it all comes down to delivering the best performance—hopefully, the best in the world—at this one event. To get the edge and handle the pressure, athletes increasingly rely on visualization techniques as a part of their regular training program. Fortunately, the same visualization techniques used by elite athletes are just as important for you—to help you succeed at work, conquer your fears and master social situations.

One of the key techniques used by sports psychologists is visualization. Broadly speaking, visualization is the process of creating a mental image or intention of what you want to happen or feel. An athlete can use this technique to ‘intend’ an outcome of an event. When visualizing a scene, the athlete ‘steps into’ that feeling and moment. He or she imagines the details of the event and how it feels to deliver a perfect performance.

Often these scenarios involve multiple senses and emotions: kinesthetic (the body springing into action); auditory (cheering from the crowd); visual (images of the event location); or emotions and feelings (a sense of confidence or feeling calm). Through repeat visualization, minds and bodies actually become trained to perform the imagined skill.

Visualization works because in certain states of consciousness the brain doesn’t discern between a vividly imagined event and a real event. During visualization, the information entered in the visual system is processed and stored for later retrieval, indicating a possible influence of memory over the desired effects.

Sports coaches advocate visualization because it induces a calming effect in the face of anxiety-inducing competition, so the player is neither without decision-making skills nor concentration. It builds both experience and confidence in an athlete’s ability to perform under pressure; and it increases the athlete’s sense of complete control over a successful performance.

But visualization is not just for athletes: it’s for all of us.

Visualization has the potential to help anyone who wants positive change in their life. It has helped thousands of people excel in their work and social life, as well as overcome serious afflictions such as disease and addiction. Visualization is a remarkable tool for those interested in advancing in all facets of their life.

According to Harvard-trained psychologist Dr. Stephen J. Kraus, author of Psychological Foundations of Success, the reasons visualization enhances psychology are actually quite practical and pragmatic:

1. Visualization Enhances Confidence. Research in positive psychology shows that simply thinking about an event makes it more likely to happen. When you think about an event, you start to construct mental scenarios of how it might occur and (most importantly) how it might happen. The outcome of this is greater confidence, and personal improvement occurs via a ‘self-fulfilling prophecy’.
2. Visualization Boosts Motivation. Visualization motivates you, making personal development more effective. As your future dreams seem more likely, you become more motivated to initiate and sustain action. Visualization is anything but boring—it engages your thoughts, emotions and senses—and generates authentic excitement that motivates personal growth.
3. Visualizing is a Form of Practice. Practice is the most important reason visualization enhances success, but it is frequently overlooked by personal improvement books. Like any kind of practice, regular visualization makes you more skilled and successful when it comes to actually engaging in that behavior.

How much time do you spend with your partner? Really think about it. (Please note: the time you spend side-by-side spaced out on the couch watching TV doesn’t count.) I’m talking about quality one-on-one time spent talking to each other, being affectionate and enjoying recreational activities. Time where you and your partner are actively engaged in fulfilling each other’s emotional needs.

For most married couples, it’s probably just a few hours a week, if that. Now go back in time to when you and your significant other were first dating. Chances are you spent about 15 hours a week basking in each other’s undivided attention, and it felt fantastic!

What happened? It’s a matter of priorities. Your relationship—nurturing the bond that you and your partner share—slipped a bit (or maybe a lot). For many, work, finances and kids moved to the top of the list. The problem is that when you neglect your relationship, you drift apart. This drifting leaves room for negative feelings and emotions to creep in: loneliness, resentment, apathy, anger, even falling out of love.

Acclaimed clinical psychologist Willard F. Harley, Jr. talks about the ‘promise of time’. He emphasizes this concept with couples about to enter into marriage, but it’s relevant for all couples, no matter how long you’ve been together. It’s basically the promise of spending time together each week giving one another quality, undivided attention.

In his clinical practice, Dr. Harley’s first assignment for many couples trying to rebuild their relationship is the exercise of giving each other 15 hours of undivided attention for one week. Fifteen hours! He’s had many couples try to convince him that this just isn’t possible, mostly because it seems totally impractical. But, in the end, couples usually agree that without time they’re never going to re-create the love they once had for each other.

To really make time for one another, Dr. Harley advises that couples follow The Policy of Undivided Attention.

There are THREE PARTS to The Policy of Undivided Attention:

1. Privacy. The time you spend in each other’s company should not include children, relatives or friends. Privacy is paramount because it allows you to give each other, and your relationship, your full, undivided attention. This might be difficult, but it’s necessary. The presence of others (and especially children), while wonderful, interferes with affection and intimate conversation.
2. Objectives. During the time you are together, try to meet the emotional needs of affection, sexual fulfillment, intimate conversation, and recreational companionship. This isn’t an easy task. Obviously, each person is different, but evidence shows that romance for husbands tends to be sex and recreation, whereas for the majority of wives, they find affection and intimate conversation romantic.Dr. Harley’s advice is to try to do all of these things when spending time together. This is a tall order, so it’s important to talk openly with your partner about one another’s emotional needs. Confusion often arises when one person assumes their needs are the same as their partner’s. This can lead to frustration, anger and feeling misunderstood. Only through open dialogue can you learn about your partner’s needs and how to fulfill them and vice versa.
3. Amount. The number of hours spent together should reflect the quality of your marriage. If your marriage is satisfying to both of you, 15 hours of undivided time together is probably enough. If your marriage is less than satisfying should you spend more or less time together? The answer is you should spend even more time together.

Even Dr. Harley admits that it is difficult to motivate unhappy couples to spend more than 15 hours together (or even one hour together!). Mostly because these are couples that are no longer in love, and the relationship doesn’t do anything for them. This being said, he has found that if both parties are committed to the relationship, and put in the time to fulfill one another’s emotional needs for a while, they actually end up wanting to spend 15 hours or more together each week. They end up back in love.

Life is One Big Habit. Today, you’re more or less doing the same thing you did yesterday, the day before and every day for the last year. Studies reveal that as much as 45% of what we do every day is habitual. Most of us are performing the same actions almost without thinking in the same location or at the same time each day, usually because of subtle cues.

When we think of the word ‘habit’ our minds tend to jump to less savory patterns of behavior: nail biting, teeth grinding, compulsive e-mail checking, watching excessive amounts of TV. But habits need not be bad. In fact, creating good habits is essential to success. The adoption of certain habits such as exercise, healthy eating and meditation can be transformational.

The Nature of Habits. Through experiment and observation, social scientists have learned there is power in tying certain behaviors to habitual cues. For example, the impulse to check your e-mail or reach for the bag of potato chips is likely a habit with a specific prompt.

Researchers found that most cues fall into four broad categories: a specific location or time of day, a certain series of actions, particular moods, or the company of specific people. The potato chip urge, for example, probably happens after you’ve come home from work, perhaps had a bad day and are watching TV.

Dr. Wood, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke, studied exercise habits among students who transferred from one college to another. When the locations remained similar – the new school had an outdoor track just like the old, for example – students continued running regularly. But if the tracks were too different, their exercise routine more often than not tapered off.

In another experiment, where researchers were studying smokers, those wanting to quit were more than twice as successful if they started kicking the habit on vacation, when they were in a different context, away from people and places that act as triggers.

According to Dr. Wood, “Habits are formed when the memory associates specific actions with specific places or moods. If you regularly eat chips while sitting on the couch, after a while, seeing the couch will automatically prompt you to reach for the Doritos. These associations are sometimes so strong that you have to replace the couch with a wooden chair for a diet to succeed.”

Habits, whether good or bad, make us who we are.

The key is controlling them. If you understand how habits work, you can use this knowledge to create good habits, and this can be life changing.

Here are a few tips inspired by Scott Young to help you create good habits:

1. One Habit for 30 Days. Try focusing on one change you want to make for 30 days. Thirty days is roughly the amount of time it takes for a behavior to be conditioned, to become a habit.
2. Replace Lost Needs. You can’t stop habits without replacing the needs they fulfill. For example, cutting down on TV probably means you’ll need to find a new way to relax and get information. In this case, you could try going for a walk and then reading the newspaper. But make sure you’re not substituting one bad habit for another, like quitting smoking only to overeat.
3. Avoid Bad Habit Triggers. As much as you can, try to avoid triggers that you associate with your bad habits. And if you’re trying to create good habits, you can use the trigger effect to your advantage. For example, buy a smoothie maker and have it sitting on your countertop to help trigger you to make a healthy breakfast shake every morning.
4. Balance Feedback. The different between long-term change and giving up on day 31 is the balance of feedback. If your change creates more pain in your life than joy, it’s going to be hard to stick to. Find diets, exercise routines, financial plans, and work routines that are going to work for you in the long run.
5. Get Leverage. Give a friend one hundred dollars with the condition to return it to you only when you’ve completed 30 days without fail. Make a public commitment to everyone you know that you’re going to stick with it. Also offer yourself a reward if you make it a month (and every month you stick to it).
6. Keep it Simple. Your change should involve one or two rules, not a dozen. Exercising three times per week for at least 40 minutes is easy to follow. Designing an elaborate exercise routine of yoga, rocking climbing and swimming on specific days of the week is complicated. Complexity is a headache and you could be setting yourself up for failure if other things come up, like travel, meetings, etc.
7. One habit at a time. Don’t try to change everything all in one go. This is just too much pressure. Introduce one habit and work on this until it becomes automatic and then move onto the next habit. Successfully introducing one habit gives you the confidence to move on to the next one.
8. Consistency is Key. The point of a habit is that it doesn’t require thought. Make sure your habit is as consistent as possible and is repeated every day for 30 days. This will ensure that your habit is properly conditioned.

Gary Ryan Blair – a.k.a. “The GoalsGuy®” – has some key advice for those wanting to realize their dreams and achieve their goals: understand the power of the word ‘No’ and get comfortable using it.

As an author, speaker, coach, and consultant, Gary is dedicated to helping his clients win by creating focused, goal-directed lives. He continues to share his unique strategies with top companies around the world, including IBM, NASA, General Electric, Federal Express, and Ford. He’s also a huge advocate of the word ‘No’!

Gary believes that it’s not about working harder or longer to capture the brass ring—which is what most people try to do.

It’s about learning to say “No.” This word has power: it helps you set limits, hold firm to boundaries, and get clear about what you will and will not do.

If the thought of saying “No” to your boss, friends or family members makes you cringe, you’re not alone. The majority of us dread the idea of disappointing people. We also don’t want others to think we’re not helpful and obliging. We’re doing ourselves a massive disservice, though.

Everyone would be a lot more productive and positive if they recognized that:

1. ‘No’ is not a dirty word. It’s not negative, and it doesn’t mean you’re selfish. Rather, it’s liberating. It frees up your time to focus on your key priorities.
2. Saying “No” allows you to go out and chase your wildest dreams because you have more time and energy. It’s your life. You should control how you spend your time.
3. Saying “No” actually increases the value of the things you say “Yes” to.

Gary knows real change can happen if you resolve to give ‘No’ the strategic resolve it deserves.

Keep reading to discover Gary's simple and effective strategies—both personal and professional—to help you reach your goals:

1. What strategies, initiatives and activities will you say “No” to? Take out a piece of paper and write down all the superfluous, ‘go nowhere’ activities that slow you down and prevent progress from happening in your life. Now say “No” to all these activities that continuously hold you back.
2. What meetings will you decline or delegate? Write a list of all the meetings you have coming up in the next three months and figure out which one you will NOT be attending. Meetings consume large chunks of productive time, especially if you have to travel. Most meetings are run improperly and inefficiently, so either decline or delegate them to someone else.
3. What relationships will you NOT keep? How you manage your relationships has a tremendous impact on your ability to maintain a high level of performance. Really examine the relationships in your life. Identify the top three energy-draining relationships and say “No” to them. Most people have so little extra time, it only makes sense to spend it with individuals who inspire and energize.
4. What measurements will you ignore? Kiss goodbye all lagging indicators. ONLY pay attention to measurements related to customer satisfaction and the levers that directly drive sales, margins, operating expenses, and ROI.
5. What customers will you NOT target? Identify your IDEAL prospect, client or customer. This is who you want to target. Stop chasing every opportunity. It’s a total waste of time and resources. Also figure out who your VIPs are and ensure they get special care and attention.
6. What competitors will you NOT follow? Far too much time is lost by following and focusing on too many competitors. Identify the top three and immediately remove yourself from other e-mail distribution lists, blogs and other related communications. When all your focus goes to watching to competition, you’ll forget to concentrate on what matters: your customers and key performance indicators.
7. What money will you NOT spend? Put yourself on a fiscal diet. So much money slips through your fingers each month that you’re not even aware of—a fancy coffee here, an expensive haircut there. What things (or even entire budget categories) can you do away with?
8. What trips will you NOT make? It’s hard to deny the power of ‘showing up’ in person. Great things happen when you get out and mingle with customers and colleagues. Nevertheless, trips consume heaps of time, energy and money. Think about using technology to achieve the same goals, and only travel when it can make a BIG impact towards your primary goal.
9. What foods will you NOT eat? Achieving the next level of performance and productivity starts with how you manage energy. Eating foods that are unhealthy and not exercising are contributing factors to energy loss. Eliminate any food or drink that compromises your energy.
10. What excuses will you NOT engage in? Stop making excuses—they are a waste of energy, time and productivity. Excuses make you feel better temporarily, but they hold you back in the long run. This requires you to be brutally honest with yourself and a heightened level of personal awareness, but the results are worth it.
11. What will you NOT say? Cultivate a habit of keeping your mouth shut if what you say does not move the ‘agenda’ forward or uplift others. Speak only about the solution and don’t waste a second on the problem or blaming others.

Bill Bartmann is the ultimate underdog, survivor AND achiever. He was homeless at age 14, a member of a street gang and a high school dropout. He then took control of his life by taking the GED exam and putting himself through college and law school.

Bill Bartmann hasn’t looked back since. His achievements speak for themselves:

• “National Entrepreneur of the Year” (twice) by USA Today, NASDAQ, Inc. Magazine, Ernst & Young, and the Kauffman Foundation
• Forbes Magazine list of the 400 wealthiest Americans
• American Academy of Achievement’s "Golden Plate Award for one of the 20th Century’s Most Extraordinary Achievers" (an award previously bestowed upon five U.S. Presidents and three Nobel Prize winners)
• Borrowed more than $3.1 billion from 120 different lenders for more than 180 separate transactions - all for privately held startup companies
• Acknowledged by the Nilson Report as having created the "Largest, Best Trained, and Most Efficient Debt Collection Operation in the World"
• Acknowledged by BusinessWeek Magazine as "One of the Top 30 Family Friendly Companies" in the United States
• Acknowledged by BusinessWeek Magazine as "One of the Best Entrepreneurs"

The road to success has not always been easy, though.

Tragedy struck when Bill’s former business partner committed fraud and sent the company into bankruptcy. Although Bill’s former business partner told prosecutors that he had acted without Bill’s knowledge, admitted his guilt and was sent to prison, Bill was indicted on 57 felony counts relating to his partner’s activities.

Five years later, after a 2.5 month long trial where the government called 53 witnesses and produced over 1,000 exhibits, Bill rested his case without calling a single witness or producing a single exhibit. The jury unanimously acquitted Bill on all counts.

This experience would have crushed most people, but not Bill. He now travels the country inspiring many by sharing his story of how he created success and overcame near insurmountable obstacles.

Bill is deeply passionate about helping people reach their potential and achieve their goals.

Drawing on his own experiences, he has outlined 9 Steps to Achieve Any Goal:

1. Make Sure Your Goal is Your Own. Spend a solid amount of time figuring out what YOU really want. Think of all the people who are pursuing goals for other people. It’s not worth it. It’s the saddest realization to wake up at 50 or 60 and realize you’ve been chasing something you don’t really want for most of your life.
2. Make it a Promise. Use the word ‘promise’ instead of ‘goal’. Most people don’t reach their goals. Thinking about goals actually sets your mind up to fail, because not reaching goals is quite normal. When you make a promise, you don’t think about something you’re going to ‘attempt’ or ‘try’ or ‘strive to do’. You expect to keep promises. When you make a promise you really want to keep it, so your mind starts working for you to reach your goal.
3. Clearly Identify Your Promise. Most people are vague when they come to goals. They say “I want to get rich” or “I want to be famous.” But you need to know the specifics of what you want. How rich? How famous? If you can’t clearly identify your promise, you’re going to have a difficult time achieving it. When you can clearly see your promise in your mind’s eye, it becomes so much easier to achieve.
4. Identify You Personal Motivator. In order to achieve a significant goal or promise you’re going to need a lot of motivation. You need a good motivator, something to keep you fired up when the times get difficult. This can be anything that keeps you passionate and focused. Maybe someone once told you you couldn’t do something, so it’s the idea of proving this person wrong that keeps you motivated to carry on. Or maybe it’s your children that help you keep your eye on the prize.
5. Create a Promise Plan. It isn’t enough to have a clear promise and a personal motivator. You need a plan. You need to map out and write down the who, what, where, when, why and how of your promise. Your promise should include all the components of a proper business plan.
6. Review Your Plan Regularly. Take 20 minutes each day to review your promise plan. Focusing on your goals makes them all that much more attainable. Analyzing and refining your plan gets your brain working for you, showing you things that you hadn’t thought of before. Your promise plan becomes better and more efficient.
7. Tell Yourself You Will Achieve It. Repeat to yourself over and over again that you will reach your promise. This concretizes your promise in your mind and builds confidence in your ability to reach it.
8. Tell Others About Your Promise. When you tell someone else about your promise, it gives you additional motivation to make it happen. The more people you tell the better. This may be scary, but it gives you an additional incentive to realize your promise. In addition, many of the people you tell will come forward to offer support or resources to help you reach it.
9. Visualize the Final Result. A powerful tool to help you realize your promise is visualizing the final result. What does it feel like? What does it look like? You need to be able to see yourself in the moment of success.

Most of you probably already know about the Law of Attraction. It goes a little something like this: In a nutshell, The Law of Attraction says that you attract into your life whatever you think about. According to The Law, your thoughts (both unconscious and conscious) dictate the reality of your life, whether or not you’re aware of it.

In order to work with this energy, you must practice four things:

1. Know what you desire then ask the universe for it
2. Focus your thoughts upon the thing desired with intense   feelings and emotions, such as gratitude or enthusiasm
3. Feel and behave as if the object of your desire is already acquired
4. Be open to receiving what you desire

OK, that seems straightforward enough, you might say. But is it?

Most of us have poor ‘thinking' habits. Instead of focusing on what we desire and the feeling of already having it with an overall sense of gratitude and joy, our minds are cages of negativity. We engage in negative self-talk; we worry constantly; we think the same mundane thoughts over and over; we think the worst of other people; and the list goes on.

The challenge (and the solution!) is to practice The Law of Attraction every day of your life—to make it a habit.

Relaxing on the sofa once a month for 10 minutes and thinking about the promotion you want isn’t going to cut it. It’s about using The Law each day to change the way you think and act to ultimately achieve the life you want and deserve.

Here are THREE TIPS to Help You Get The Law of Attraction Working for You:

Just Do It

Maybe you’re already reading books about how to achieve success in different facets of your life, whether it be wealth, happiness, health, or relationships. But are you really doing anything? Most people stay at the level of thought and analysis. It’s time to act. Remember you are supposed to behave as if what you desire is already yours. People forget this point.

Many people find the old “fake until you make it” philosophy helpful here. If you’re shy and quiet, but want to be confident and heard in the boardroom, push yourself to speak once or twice every meeting. If you want to be happier, smile at your co-workers (even if you don’t feel like it!). After a while, these actions become second nature, and even enjoyable, because they’re aligned with your desires. Combining thoughts and actions that are positively reinforcing will help you attract what you want faster.

Surround Yourself with Positive People

Have you ever been having a great day and then you run into ‘that’ person? You know the one. They might be rude or inconsiderate or arrogant or maybe all three, but you nonetheless walk away from the interaction feeling slightly ‘icky’ or deflated. Maybe some of the people closest too you have this effect. That’s a problem. These people are literally giving off bad energy, and you’re absorbing it. It’s difficult to stay positive and focused on your desires when confronted with a barrage of negative vibrations. And guess what, they want you to pick it up. Bringing you down brings you in sync with their negative state, which reinforces their thoughts and actions.

Now think about a different scenario. Who are the people in your life who lift you up? The people where you walk away from a conversation with them and you feel energized and happy. These are the individuals you want to (and should!) be around. You want to be happier? Hang out with happy people. You want to be healthier? Become friends with people who live and breathe a healthy lifestyle. Being around people whose energy and actions are aligned with where you want to go is a sure fire way to accelerate The Law of Attraction.

Get Clear

There are a lot of bad ‘askers’ out there. It’s very difficult to achieve what you desire when you don’t actually know what it is that you want. If there is confusion or anxiety or tension around what you desire, that’s what you’re going to get, more confusion or anxiety or tension. Remember, the universe delivers to you what you give your attention and energy to, not necessarily what you want.

Achieving clarity about your desires is one of the most crucial steps in manifesting what you want. For some, this process can be tricky. Abraham-Hicks has a helpful concept for this problem. It’s the idea of contrast. The exercise is to think about circumstances in your life that you don’t want.  Most people find it easier to identify what they don’t want than what they do. It follows that once you’re clear about what it is that you don’t want, it’s easier to pinpoint what it is that you do.

For example, you might dislike your job, but you don’t know what else is out there for you. In this case, think about the things that you don’t like about your job. Perhaps you discover the part that you don’t like is having to work in an office environment and all the things that go along with that: staff meetings, office politics, a nine-to-five work schedule, etc. If this is the case, your desire might be to work from home or freelance. Getting clear about what you want will bring you that much closer to it.

Nearly 25% of Americans report occasional sleeping problems, and insomnia is a chronic problem for about 10% of people. The difference between feeling rested and refreshed versus groggy and irritable is enormous. Without adequate sleep, you feel like you’re dragging through your day, unable to concentrate and deliver your best.

Many turn to sedatives as a ‘cure’ for insomnia, but this can actually make the problem worse over time. Strong sedatives do not produce a natural, restful sleep. You can also become dependent on or tolerant of these drugs. When this happens, the same dosage no longer produces sleep, which often leads to increasing the dosage. Stopping these drugs causes withdrawal and insomnia.

There are many causes of sleeplessness. Poor sleep habits are a major culprit. Other factors include anxiety, stress, depression, aging, smoking, alcohol, caffeine, and conditions such as arthritis, overactive thyroid and heartburn. Often there is not just one cause, but a constellation of factors inhibiting a good night's sleep. It is also important to work with a health care provider to diagnose and address more serious conditions causing sleeplessness.

When people have trouble sleeping, they often get upset and frustrated and attempt to force themselves to sleep. This just makes the situation worse.

A more beneficial approach is to look for ways to relax and eliminate stress if you can’t sleep. This is where meditation comes in.

Regular meditation before going to bed brings you into a relaxed and clear mental state, preparing the mind for restful sleep. Ten to 15 minutes of meditation as a regular part of your bedtime routine can have huge payoffs on your ability to fall asleep easily.

In fact, a study associated with the Stanford Medical School found that combining meditation with cognitive-behavior therapy showed clinically significant improvements in several nighttime symptoms of insomnia. A significant correlation was also found between the number of meditation sessions and a reduction in sleep-related arousal.

In addition to meditation, there are a few other key behavior changes that will help you get to sleep faster. Make sure to avoid alcohol, cigarettes and caffeine. Both nicotine and caffeine are stimulants, and alcohol disrupts the proportions of various important sleep stages. Don’t eat a heavy meal before bed, as this may cause heartburn and discomfort. Establish a regular bedtime, but don’t go to bed if you’re not tired. Exercise regularly, but not two hours before going to bed. Finally, use the bedroom for bedroom activities only, so this space will be associated with falling asleep, preparing for your day and other good things that happen in the bedroom!

You’ve been so good all week: packing healthy lunches to eat at work, snacking on fruits and vegetables, avoiding sweets, and not eating after 8 pm. And then Friday comes. It’s reward time. It’s been a long week. Hot wings and beer it is. Then Saturday arrives with the promise of a BBQ or a brunch and, of course, Sunday wouldn’t be Sunday without mash potatoes, gravy and a few slices of roast beef.

Now it’s post-Sunday dinner and you’re comatose on the couch with your pants cutting into your waistline. Sound familiar? Perhaps the foods and the activities are different, but many of us treat the weekend as a chance to cut loose gastronomically.

No problem, you say to yourself. I’ll just eat healthy all week. But the reality of the situation is you could be packing on nearly 10 extra pounds by the end of the year if you eat like this.

According to a recent study from the Washington University School of Medicine, regularly overeating on the weekends can result in significant weight gain. Moreover, your healthy eating all week long doesn’t compensate for all the extra calories you’re consuming on Saturday and Sunday.

In the Washington University study, researchers tracked the food intake, exercise and body weight of 48 adults, aged 50-60, for one year. Prior to the study, the researchers determined that those participating consistently gained weight on weekends.  At the beginning of the study, participants were divided into three groups. Group one reduced their daily calorie intake by 20%, group two increased daily physical activity by 20%, and the control group didn’t change their eating or their exercise habits.

During the one-year study, all three groups consumed significantly more calories on the weekend compared to the weekdays. The calorie-restricted group stopped losing weight on the weekend and the exercise group gained weight. In addition, other research shows that people who maintain their healthy eating throughout the week are 1.5 times more likely to keep off those unwanted pounds.

You might think eating sensibly all the time is impossible. Chances are you’re probably right. Every once and a while it’s fine to indulge—have a slice of chocolate cake, treat yourself to a cheeseburger.

It becomes problematic when the diet ‘cheat’ meal or day stretches into the ‘cheat’ weekend. If you’re indulging all weekend and every weekend that means you’re overeating 29% of the time, and it’s going to show.

Here are a few tips inspired by Leslie Beck, a Toronto-based dietician, to keep you on track with your weekend eating:

1. Keep Active: Take a walk in the park or head to the gym. Staying active will help you burn extra calories and keep you from feeling sluggish. Watch out for feeling sluggish. It can lead to getting cozy on the couch with a bag of chips!
2. Eat Breakfast: Start the day with a meal that includes protein and fibre to keep you satisfied until lunch. This will help you control the urge to snack.
3. Plan Ahead: If you find it challenging to eat regular meals on busy weekends, use a food diary to plan your menu. If you’re going to be out all day long, pack healthy snacks to prevent hunger.
4. Choose Healthy Restaurants: If you’re dining out with friends or family, choose restaurants that you know have a number of healthy options.
5. Limit Alcohol: Watch the number of drinks you have. Cutting out two drinks over the weekend will save you around 300 calories. If you’re at a party, try having a glass of sparkling water in between alcoholic beverages. You’ll feel better in the morning too!
6. Portion Control: If you’re at an event where there is food, make sure you watch your portions when it comes to the high calorie treats. Also load up on foods like salads because they're healthy and they'll keep you full.
7. Avoid the ‘Last Supper’ Mentality: If you blow your diet on the weekend, don’t wait until Monday to get back on track. Start with the next meal or snack. The ‘last supper’ approach – i.e., I’ve already binged, so I may as well enjoy what I want until Monday – makes it more difficult to resume your healthy eating routine.

Matthieu Ricard, cellular geneticist turned Buddhist monk, talks about the different between happiness and pleasure in his book Happiness. He suggests people’s confusion of pleasure for happiness is a common error.

Pleasure, as described by Ricard, is a fleeting experience dependent upon circumstance, on a specific location or moment in time. By its very nature pleasure is unstable. The sensation it elicits soon becomes neutral or even repugnant. An example would be eating a delicious chocolate cake. The first few bites are divine, but after reaching the point of being full, to go on would make one feel ill. The cake would taste too sweet and rich, and to continue eating it would be uncomfortable.

Pleasure is exhausted by usage. It’s nearly always linked to an activity and naturally leads to boredom if repeated continuously. Happiness, in contrast, is not necessarily dependent upon circumstance. Happiness does not mutate into its opposite, but instead flourishes and endures with experience. Authentic happiness is not connected to an activity. Rather, it is a state of being.

While pleasures are produced by contact with pleasant stimuli and end when that contact is broken, genuine happiness—lasting well-being—is experienced so long as one remains in harmony with their inner nature.

When speaking of happiness, Ricard refers to the Sanskrit word for this state of being: sukha.

“Sukha is the state of lasting well-being that manifests itself when we have freed ourselves of mental blindness and afflictive emotions. It is also the wisdom that allows us to see the world as it is, without veils or distortions. It is, finally, the joy of moving toward inner freedom and the loving-kindness that radiates toward others.” ¹

Listen to a talk given by Matthieu Ricard on the Habits of Happiness.

¹ Matthieu Ricard. 2003. Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill. New York: Hachette Book Group.